Ups & Downs: WWE Raw Review (May 25)

Paul Heyman did the thing at the start of this week's episode of Raw, somewhere Far Cry Blood Dragon was super happy

because Paul was in the ring going, oh my gosh, I'm about to hype a match, does it need hyping

And then he went on to hype it, almost like a video game that says, tutorials are so silly, we're going to take the mick out of tutorials

Now on the down low, you still do have to do the tutorial. Also my friends, the world of ups and downs, and this is absolutely mad because now we've got four days in a row, five days in a row

32 days in a row of professional wrestling being on our television screens, but that's great because it means we can compare and contrast

because that's what 2026 is all about. But I am Simon Miller, the bald idiot. Thank you so much for joining me

And given that we did just have an episode of Raw, which technically was the go-home, the Clash in Italy

which is more sports entertainment, let's up those doubts. And as soon as Paul Heyman was done

we did cut to Brock Lesnar on the big screen. So he wasn't even on the show. And man, not in my wildest dreams

He pulled a Larry David, right? Or a George Costanza, if you want to follow that ladder down to the floor

Because he was like, listen, O.F.M.E., I did quit after you whooped my ass at WrestleMania

I couldn't believe it. Then I woke up one day and decided, no, I don't want to quit

So I'm just going to sneak my way back onto TV. The best line as well is when Brock said something on the lines of

I'm going to rule over you as the retired Brock Lesnar. This is a contradiction in terms

Are you retired? Are you not retired? You can't be fake retired. That just means you're still working

That's like what a dad would say when he gets to a certain age and doesn't want to tell his wife that maybe he's still going to his job

So he's like, I'm just going to pretend I'm retired. But I'm not retired

Stop playing pretend. Heyman then told us it was a done deal when Oberfemi walked to the ring. And this is the reason why it is so damn good

But flub me sideways, Oberfemi has to beat Brock Lesnar for a second time in Italy

Although I don't think he's going to. Because Oberfemi basically came to the ring and said

Man, you think this woke something up in Brock Lesnar? What do you think it did to me

He hit me with a bunch of F5s. So now I'm going to go crazy. And listen, if last time I was walking to the ring just to beat Brock Lesnar

this time I'm looking to kill him. It's like, man, thank goodness we had that Oberfemi talk

Some people like to pretend he's a one-trick pony. No, he isn't. this guy can do everything. What a line. And listen, you can't just say that. You have to mean

it. You have to have the physique and the presence. And he totally pulled it off. At the same time

put a one on the crime counter. There wasn't any kind of teasing with that. He just looked at the

camera and said, die. He then signed the contract on Paul Heyman's chest as well, which somehow was

just such a badass thing to do. And yes, if I was going to hazard a guess, I guess we will have

Brock Lesnar win this one and then do the rubber match. But I think that is a stupid idea because

I think if Brock Lesnar beats him twice, sorry, if Oveopel beats Brock Lesnar twice, that's just

going to send him to the moon. Let's just break it down into John Cena words. It's Oberfemi's time

but we can wait and see. I still don't believe this was the plan and WWE has pulled the pivot

but I shall hold off my thoughts until Monday and as we have seen the pay-per-view, but just for Oberfemi alone, I am going to give it an up once again. Just belt this mother hub

and up it's time. Belt Boy was then back to give Roman Reigns his world title, which really is a

strange thing for Roman to have on his staff. And given that it was Roman Reigns' birthday

belt boy wanted to give him a present and Roman Reigns threw it away do not come in my house and

tell me Roman Reigns isn't a heel he is we then got Javon Evans versus Penta for the Intercontinental

title too and even though actually I thought there should have been more build here it was such a

good match it did feel fresh like bread and we had somewhat of a twist at the end I just had a

rollicking good time and this Javon Evans man he did have a bee in his bonnet at one point they

were like oh my gosh we're friends and he just kicked Penta right in the head because he wanted

to win that damn IC title. You're right. Javon also had most definitely set his meter to full

before he walked to the ring because he was going for OG cut straight away. But Penta must have

secretly seen him done this on his control pad. So he started doing it too. And otherwise they

just proved, well, it was like a generational thing because Javon is a younger generation

I guess Penta is this generation. They just had such a good back and forth. I tell you

I had a lovely time. And also there was not one shenanigan. So at one point, Penta threw Javon

into Alan the announce table and that basically set Javon off. He was so mad about this. So he

came back with fire in his belly, which was a terrible idea, because eventually he did go for

the OG cutter, and Penta super kicked him right in midair. I was like, man, I would watch the best

of seven between these two. We did make sure that Evans kicked out of the Penta driver, and he also

hit this awesome Hurricanrana off the top rope. Shout out to 2014, but otherwise, yes, after a

really cool exchange, Penta was able to hit the Mexican Destroyer. He got the one, two, three

and even though he wanted to shake Javon's hand afterwards, that dude slapped it away. Honestly

I liked every single part of it. I think that's a really smart thing to do as well, because Javon Evans probably does need some edge

Not Adam Copeland, he went to AEW. And listen, it does tie into something

that was going to happen later on. In fact, there were multiple segments involving the Intercontinental Championship on the show

which is also a great idea. I am just giving it an up. This is the kind of thing that WWE needs right now

Give me new ship. I also did love the fact that Javon Evans just lost, because in professional wrestling

as we've talked about a thousand times, losing can be part of your story arc

but what are you going to go do now? Speaking of losers, that doesn't really work

He won at Saturday Night Main Event But very sadly we did learn that Logan Paul actually tore his triceps during that tag team match So he going to be out for ages I have seen some people on the internet celebrating this Listen I get it

You don't like Logan Paul. I can understand that. But you should never wish anyone to get injured

I hope that he can recover. They can be back on TV soon. So now that Austin Theory was ready to give up his tag team titles

he went to Paul Heyman and went, oh, I'm so sad, man. I was so excited to defend it

When we got yet more, oh, we have Paul Heyman. Let's use him as creative exposition

because he just went, don't be silly. When I signed some magical contract

who the Flub knows what that is, I wrote down the vision. Get to be the tag team champions

not just Austin Theory and Logan Paul. So if you want a team with Bron Breaker, or maybe you want to have sport after he turns heel

what? I didn't say anything. You can do that. WWE has to stop doing it

You go back to Bron Breaker being unsuspended when Paul Heyman had some magical man on the phone

when it came to Avan Pearce and all that stuff with Gunther, which Paul Heyman has now just ran away from

We do so much stuff with Heyman that never gets explained. Why would this be allowed

Who signed it down? And I understand it's the Freebird Raw, but just say that when they win the titles

and once again, I understand, WWE quite clearly has a plan. They don't want the vision to lose the tag team titles

but we can't just go every time, let's go talk to Paul Heyman. Hey, Paul, what's going on

Do something different now. It really did wind up Austin Theory as something fierce though, because he then vowed to take out everybody

who may have even had an inkling of hurting Logan Paul. So as Joe Hendricks in the ring singing this song

yeah, Austin went out there. he destroyed this dude to the point doctors came out going oh my gosh joe henry could be dead so i

think we just wrote him off tv the next cut as well was so damn funny because we did sell this

like a big deal and then yes we went backstage and there was seth rollins and angelo dawkins

having a conversation i was like guys the vision are attacking somebody you're meant to be after

them they didn't care now rollins was trying to make his point to angelo look what happened at

saturday night's main event we all have to come together to stop these goobers and yes angelo

agreed when, of course, Montez Ford walked in being like, oh my gosh, why are you talking to my

friend? I don't like you, Seth Rollins. You're a backstabber. So Seth was like, oh yeah? Well, who's been

world champion and who's made and vented WrestleMania as this did turn into an argument between

14-year-olds? But it pissed Montez Ford off so much, we are getting this match

later. And again, we'll talk about it in a few minutes, but I am sticking by my Montez Ford

prediction. My favourite part of this too is that at one point Montez even said, well, if you had helped us out at the

weekend, maybe we would have won the titles. And what has Montez Ford been saying in the weeks prior to

this. Seth Rollins, you better stay out of our business. So we are giving some character here

to Montez. Again, I think you should watch this space. Sean Evans then found Penta and said

I'm so sorry I acted so unprofessional, but I will be coming after that IC title

And while on paper that sounds terrible, like again, you want Javon to have some attitude, the way he did this, I thought he came across great. Like half of them was like, yeah

I shouldn't have done that. I was a bit of a dick. But also the other 50% was like, but yes

I will get my revenge. I like what we're doing with Javon Evans. I don't think we should turn

a fully fledged heel, that'd be a terrible idea. But just giving him something different

once again, keep an eye on this guy. Ray Mysterio then walked in and basically did a Jedi mind trick

on Penta. She was like, oh man, Penta, you're so great and so successful. And Penta was like

well, you know what would make me more successful if I had a match against you? Ray was like

well, that's not why I stopped by. Maybe we should go talk to Adam Piz

This Ray Mysterio, man, he's got the experience. Well, it was indeed the Judgment Day, taking on

Bayley and Lyra Valkyria. And listen, I love all these guys. I've talked about it since the cows

come home. But when they came to the ring, I feel like we're just greasing our wheels

We're just going round and round doing the same stuff. And WWE should have done this match because, of course, they got into it last week

But I just think we have to do something new with all of them, giving it a down. Now, the good news is that even though Liv Morgan was trying to cause distraction here

the referee saw her and said, uh-uh, you have to leave. And this makes all the sense in the world because there were so many shenanigans on SmackDown

at least within the kayfabe world, you could pretend the referees got together and said, yes, we need to be more vigilant

And even when Dominic Stereo tried to get involved, he screwed the pooch too. Because basically he threw his AAA title in there and Bayley and it was Roxanne Perez, right

They started doing a tug of war. And given that the force was then released, like the Star Wars, Roxanne went into Dominic Mysterio, knocked him down

She couldn't believe it. So Bayley hit the least devastating move. No, the most devastating move in all of sports entertainment

The surprise roll up. And she got the one, two, three. And given that WWE often treats that finish as well, nobody properly won, which is why we did it

I think we have to do this again. And listen, yes, I totally understand this because it is going to lead to the breakup of the Judgment Day, one would suggest

But I'm just going to tie it into the down we talked about a second ago. We just need to do something new here

We do need to end the Judgment Day and then come to the natural shelf life. And it's mad to me that Liv Morgan has been the world champion at WrestleMania, which was ages ago

We've had two pay-per-views, if you count SNME as a pay-per-view too. She ain't got no challenges

Why isn't she fighting people? I don't understand it. Very, very weird. Roman Reigns and Adam Pearce then had the best chat because Adam sat down with Roman and said

listen, Roman, I don't think Jacob Fatou should be employed. I was like, well, there it is

As always, though, Roman feels like he has to show true power here, although he doesn't want to go back to his old self

when he actually said I didn know Jacob Fatou knew about the tribal combat rules that if he says that out loud I have to accept Otherwise my honor is damaged I was like one where the flub has this come from It doesn make any sense

And two, of course he knew you had tribal combat matches before. Do you think Jacob Fatou, just because he wasn't on WWE, wasn't watching the television

Listen, all of this stuff is so entertaining. But my gosh, they just say something new every single week

which is what they did in the main event segment too. Also remember as well, if you're ever in a bind, just say Roman Reigns

I challenge you to tribal combat and you'll be able to get out of it in some fashion. When we did learn that in the contract is that if Jacobin 2 loses

he has to serve Roman Reigns. There is no way a lawyer would look at this and go, yep, I think that's totally fine

I can't see any human rights issues at all. Of course, the big old line was Roman saying

but if Jacobin 2 wins, we're all screwed. And really, he just sounds like he wants to provide for his family

So I think it will be fine. When LA Knight came to the ring to do a promo, and even he said he hasn't really done one of these since WrestleMania

that is way too long. I like LA Knight. I can't explain it, but he always feels a little bit unhinged

So it kind of puts you on the edge of your seat. But the worst part of this is that he just went, you know what

I hate Roman Reigns. Therefore, I am entering the King of the Ring tournament next week

I was like, what? The King of the Ring? Why couldn't we have built this up a bit more? I mean, they go back King Brett, King Steve, King Booker, King Seamus, a bunch of these

You can do video packages and just remind everyone why the King of the Ring is so cool

And look, the winner does get a shot at a world title, which I do like, but I am going to give it a down

You announced it by LA Knight talking about it as if this has been a thing for ages

I mean, I know we do it every single year, but come on, man. A little video or two, especially when it's WWE, they do videos better than anyone

Of course, as soon as he said bad words about Roman Reigns, out came Jimmy Uso. And he's like, listen, LA Knight, man, I'm really happy what we did do at WrestleMania

But you've got to keep Roman Reigns' name out of your mouth. I don't really know why, but family and cousins and brothers

And again, if Jay was here, he would punch you. And this is where LA Knight's gone

What was I just talking about? how you lot get together and you do annoy me because you treat things unfairly

You have basically just said if your brother was here, you would double team me. What does that just tumble back round to

You guys are a bunch of assholes. And listen, I like you, Jimmy. I like you, Jay, even though he's not here

Without Roman Reigns, someone needs to slap his ear. Jimmy then tried to explain the bloodline aren't like how they used to be

which is the equivalent of, listen, babe, I've changed to come back in the house. But then I once again made it clear that he is going after Roman Reigns

as soon as he does win the King of the Ring. When Jimmy said something like family is our business

and if you get in our business, our business is your business and you go out of business. So really the idea here is that LA Knight could win the King of the Ring

which I would be all for but maybe the Usos are going to have to make some decisions. It does kind of feel a bit wishy-washy at the moment

because obviously WWE pivoted after deciding to move Gunther to SmackDown but at least LA Knight is involved in something

and while I would like him to win the tournament it would be kind of weird if he did go after Roman Reigns

if he didn't beat Roman Reigns because that's what we did in Saudi Arabia a few years ago unless Jacob or two is going to win the title

and then you do a mini feud between LA Knight and Roman. I don't know, but at least it's intriguing

At least they are interacting. We do need to move on quite fast because I have no idea what Jimmy and Jay are doing right now

but I am going to give it an up, mostly because at least LA Knight got some time on D.M

And up here's the Rey Mysterio then talking about just giving Rey an IC title match and actually quite rightfully

Ethan Page and Rusev walked in going, yeah, no, that doesn't seem fair

So surprise, surprise, later on, it is going to be Rusev versus Rey and Ethan Page didn't seem to mind this at all

because Ethan Page is the best. he didn't want to fight. But we got to Seth Rollins versus Montez Ford, and I absolutely

love this. And sure, I would agree with you that maybe this wasn't of the level you would expect

from them. It's just around one. We can get to around two. But it was just the finish and the

way we did treat this. Again, no stupid distractions that we did do last week. Instead

I mean, at one point, Montez got the splash of the frogs onto Seth Rollins, and Rollins kicked out

And that did get me a little bit, which makes me an idiot, because everybody kicks out of finishes

But when he went for the 450, he face-planted. And just when he was adjusting his neck, Seth

went haha he curve stomped him and he got the one two three that's the way you do it because yes if

Montes Ford is gonna turn heel just a guess on my end and maybe he does join the division just a

guess on my end this can be another moment he's like man I'm just so frustrated I can't handle it

anymore and while he did get pinned it didn't feel like he totally screwed up I'm not now like

Montes Ford he's such a loser he made one error and Seth Rollins a former world champion capitalized

on it this is the kind of stuff we need to do more of it's also great for Andrew Dawkins though

because of course he came out to help his friend. Let's talk to his friend afterwards and he got jumped by Austin Theory

who gave him a concerto. So if I was going to hazard a guess

it feels like we just wrote Angelo out of the story because Logan Paul isn't here and we have to balance up the books

I mean, I get it. But as always, let's make sure we have something for Dawkins. He's good

We really did clarify this afterwards as well because Seth Rollins and Montez Ford were melting down with Montez being like

oh my gosh, my partner's going to be out for ages. When he finally said, all right, Seth, I get it

We'll be on the same page. The vision is bigger than whatever spat we've got going on

So once more I guess it will be Brom Breaker and Logan Paul not Logan Paul Brom Breaker and Austin Theory taking on Seth Rollins and Montez Ford And I bet you Montez Ford screws him over But this is me going into massive fantasy booking mode and i am a massive nerd but i am giving it an up again when the flub we ever seen seth rollins versus montez ford and we doing something with ford so i locked into this i do

like it i actually only think it's going to get better and better and better seth made it clear

at the end too i won't run breaker soon so maybe ada pierce goes fine in a tag team match becky

linch interview after this and apparently sol ruka got hurt after saturday's main event so i hope

She is okay. And Becky was all like, when I got hurt all those years ago

I turned myself into the man where Sol can't even get to work. And that's because you can flip

and trickle around the place, but you'll never be as good as me. Because her name is going to be etched in stone

because her legacy is like nobody else's. I thought Becky was very good here. She came across so obnoxious

which was the idea. And listen, if Sol Ruka is going to be okay for this weekend at Italy

given how over the top she was, I would imagine she will lose that icy title. Rusev versus Rey after this

for the number one contendership for the Intercontinental title. and we had Ethan Page on commentary

Just going back to what I said earlier, this IC title scene right now, well, it fills me with glee

I mean, how Mysterio is still this good, I will never know. And I will stand on the hill that I think Rusev is massively underrated

And once again, there was no nonsense here because Rey went for the 619. Rusev grabbed him and said no

When he went for the match to kick, Rey decided, well, I don't really want to be punched in the face. So he turned it into the most devastating move

in all of sports. And there was a prize roll. We got the 1-2-3. It wasn't the match to kick

It was the accolade. I'm getting confused with his finishing moves. And listen, even though it's exactly what we did with Bayley earlier in the night

if this is what WWE has to do to balance the books when it does come to interferences, I've got no problem with it

But also, look at the end product. Fun match. I had a good time. Good guy versus bad guy

And of course, Rey Mysterio and Penta is now on the cards. Who doesn't want that

Rusev beat the flub out of Rey Mysterio after this. And Ethan Page thought this was hilarious that he got in the ring

which was a terrible mistake because Dragon Lee finally returned to Raw after being off injured

He flew around. He hit Operation Dragon. He raised Rey Mysterio's hand

so you can probably do this tag team match too and you can throw Dragon Lee into the IC title scene

I am giving all of this an up. Sometimes this is all I need from professional wrestling

Keep it nice, keep it simple and make me feel warm and fuzzy in my tum tum. Anna Pierce then kicked Austin Theory out of the building

even though he'd been running a muck for at least two hours by this point and that was very easy, he did go

What if we got to the Alpha Academy for no reason other than to tell you, you know all those skits we have been doing on Raw

and Austin Theory and Maxine Dupree have been hanging out but Maxine now likes him

Bless this Otis as well, because he made me laugh out loud with one line. He went, something smells off to me

When Maxine was indeed like, I like Austin. Sorry, fellas. And she walked off

So we better explain what is going on here. Because the last time we saw Maxine, she was getting killed by Natalia

So maybe she just got sick of dad of being put in the shop. It also means, of course, that maybe we're going to add a female member to the vision

Be careful, because the vision is absolutely cursed. When we got to our contract signing, which also made me laugh

Because we did a contract signing between Roman Reigns and Jacob and Drew, like three weeks ago. they love signing bits of paper. Now of course Jacob A2 was out first and Adam Pearce was there

with the useless rest of security guards and when he had signed he started throwing all this

furniture around and they just did nothing. Why did you even come out there to begin with? Roman

then arrived and told Pearce and his dweebs to leave and they kind of just did. Although Roman

had to come up with such a whopper he was like no I have signed a blood oath or I've explained

the blood oath which means before tribal combat I cannot touch Jacob A2. So what are you talking

about? All you and the bloodline have done for the last few weeks is break up Jacob but no or

Now there's a blood off. Now mostly Roman Reigns is just mad that Jacob 2 wouldn't acknowledge him

Because he's obsessed with that. When Jacob was like listen dude. We all understand what you did do for the family

And we respect it. But change always comes along. And it is time for a change. So I need to be the new tribal chief

I've decided. And that's that. I won't hear any backsies. Given that it is anything goes in tribal combat 2

He's going to walk Roman Reigns' ass like a dog. Which is quite the line

When Roman was like well that's great. But I have a rebuttal for you. Also it's quite nice to be treated like a dog

Because somebody will give you treats. And because that has become all tribalistic. They ended with a handshake and pushing their heads together

I was like, man, we are making a lot of stuff up on the fly. But it just works right because Jacob Fittu is phenomenal

and has established himself in the main event scene. Roman Reigns is Roman Reigns, which is totally fine

And even though I cannot see a world where Jacob Fittu is the world champion after the weekend

I also kind of feel like he has to win. Otherwise, what are we doing here? WWE, I'd imagine, has something big planned

So I am going to give it an up. It feels like a massive deal, even though we did only do it a few weeks ago

So I tip my hat to them. They've got me in. even though once again they say a lot of nonsense

So this is a good recipe, especially because it is Clash in Italy, which isn't really considered a AAA pay-per-view

It makes it even better. And actually I thought this episode of Raw was all right. It was nothing like groundbreaking

There was no segment where I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe it. But I enjoyed it. It kind of zoomed on by

And when you look at Clash in Italy on paper, well, it's probably going to be a damn good show

Now, of course, my friends, please do leave me a comment below and let me know what you thought about last night's episode of Raw

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Always sounds like a disease. I'm not going to go stick my head in a fan because there's a heat wave in the UK and I'm slowly dying

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