Soccercito - Battle Royale - 16JULY2025

Say a name

You don't know it, just say a name! Spot on is sus

Sus. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Ladies and gentlemen, today we are playing Battle Royale

It's me versus this guy. That guy, I don't really know them, but either way, I'm going to beat them

Round one is going to be true or false, and being the question master today is Professor Sanchez

Yay! Let's go, Sanchez! Sanchez! Sanchez! Let's get into it. 10 true or false questions to start

I'm going to start you guys with a really, really easy one, all right? Pele is the only player to win the World Cup three times

True or false? You have a problem. I lost my marker already. All right, you lost

You lost, bro. No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Answer's ready? Yeah. Show them to your cameras

The answer is true. No! Alexis is in the lead. Matt, you're Brazilian

Dang. Do you guys want me to sit this out so that you guys have a chance of winning

Or is that real cute? I actually gave you the first round so it could be even. Diego Maradona completed the most dribbles in a World Cup match with 15

Something he would do, right? It sounds like something he would do. Passing? Never heard of it

In three, two. The answer is true. I thought I might. I tried to trick y'all

That was too specific. Damn it. Diego Maradona completed 15 dribbles in the 1986 World Cup versus Belgium

Versus Belgium? Yeah, I remember that. I remember that. Did you play for the Belgium team? All right, question number three

An Ecuadorian has never won the Champions League. True or false? An Ecuadorian has never won the Champions League

Can I remind everyone that Professor Sanchez is Ecuadorian? Yeah. My wife is Ecuadorian

You're married? Yeah. How old are you? 26. Jeez, I'm 27. I'm so behind

All right. High school sweetheart. We've been dating since like 30 years. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Actually, we've all found love, dude

I don't know what's going on with you. That's crazy. All right, reveal your answers in five

All right, wait. The answer is False There we go You guys all got it right

Julian Pacho Just won it with PSG this year And with his contribution

Ecuador is going to win The World Cup next year And if he would have been In the Club World Cup They would have won that as well

I don't know about that one I think so too I like where your head's at This is where the energy

That I want My head's firmly up Your ass right now Because I'm kissing it Question number four Chicharito

Was the first Mexican player To play in a Champions League final True or false

question. Chicharito. Who else could have? The answer is false. Yes. Rafa Marquez

Rafa Marquez was the first Mexican player to premiere in the Champions League final

in 2006 versus Arsenal. Arsenal. There you go. I just wanted to jab you there real quick

Sorry, Samuel Leto is a criminal. Cheated that day, bro. Question five. Javier Zanetti

is the most capped Argentinian player of all time with 143 appearances. True or false

3, 2, 1. Reveal your answers. No more writing. This is true. The answer

is true. Christian, let's go. Tied with the lead with Alexis Matty, you are falling apart

No, it's true. No, no, he got true. Oh, that looks like an F. I know, but it is true

You see, I wrote it out. Can we get a play? I want a judgment on my decision. He said true. He's British

I started with it. He's British. It's true, man. Yeah, he's true. He's true

It's just like, I threw it across the room. On Tuesday, it's true

Our lips don't ever touch them. Question number six. No player has ever played for both Boca Juniors and River Plate

True or false? I don't know. This is... I feel you can't play it both

Yeah, I mean, it would be irresponsible. But somebody had to, right? I'm trying to mess up him a little bit

Three. Sol Campbell did, I think. Two. reveal your answers you got designs now i had a lot of time bro the answer is

false false man can you guys name me a player that's played for both was he the most hated

person in argentina at one point oh no he's got he's got long hair you love him i can't remember

you ride for him i had to talk you down a ledge from choosing him yesterday oh uh batistuta batistuta

that did play for River Valley. And I would have won yesterday had he let me choose them

No, no, no, no, no, no. He said he wouldn't have allowed it. Remember, this is a dictatorship

Question number seven. Why do we call him professor? Dictator Sandro. I need to bring a ruler with me

Sorry, Binochet is talking. Question seven. Brazil holds the record for most appearances

in the Copa America final. True or false? Matty, you look way too confused, man

You're the fakest Brazilian I've ever met. What are you going to put? Nah, I'm acting confused, so then I can, like

Are you going to write Tulse on there? Reveal your answers. It is false

Ooh, did we all get it wrong? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, I got a good one for you

And I'm sorry this is all Brazilian skewed, but it doesn't seem to give an advantage to Matty whatsoever

No not at all Vinicius Jr is the only Brazilian to score in a Champions League final True or false Oh I stumped you guys I love this

Reveal your answers in 3, 2, 1. You guys all got it right. It's false

Who can name me another Brazilian that scored in a Champions League final? Neymar Jr. vs Juventus. Can you name me another one

Neymar Jr. vs Juventus. I just thought about his iconic goal, MSN

Marcelo vs Atletico in 2014. That's a great one. Going into the last two questions, Madian and Alexis are tied at five

Christian, you're not far ahead. Not far behind. Not far. Oh, not far behind. So I really want you to win

Don't ever talk to the dictator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just telling that, buddy. All right, let's go

A Colombian has never played for Tottenham. True or false? I'm going to start the clock now

Oh, shit. Three, two, one. Reveal your answers. Why would you? They're dusty, bro

The answer is false. Hey! Hey! Can you name the Colombian that played for Tottenham

Davidson Sanchez. Let's go! Oh, that's a good one! Wow! I knew immediately, bro

This is exactly what I wanted. Shit? Nice. What do you think of shit

Tottenham? That's all. Thank you, man. Going into the last question, we're all tied at five

Wow. But the last question is, Brazil holds the head-to-head record versus Argentina

True or false? Wait. Brazil? When they play each other. Yes. Reveal your answers in three, two, one. One

Alexis, congratulations. No way! What? The answer is true, and you take the advantage going into the next round

Let's go! I was completely guessing. Battle Royale, round two, shot the dark

Let's get into it. Boom! Let's go. Okay. Just so you know, the weather's a little bit nicer up here

Y'all should come up here. You're shorter than me. But now with the stilettos I'm wearing, now with these extra points

Question number one. Yeah? Radamel Falcao has won the UEFA Europa League two times

How many goals in the competition does he have? In Europa League? In the Europa League competition

How many goals does he have? Do you need more explanation, dude? Or you got this? No, I got it now

Reveal your answers in three, two, one. The answer is 30. Alexis, you win

Wow. 30. 30. Damn, bro. Question number two. Willian has the most appearances in the Premier League out of any South American player

How many appearances does he have? Alexis is trying to remember how many horrible performances he had for Arsenal

None of you were close, but Christian was the closest. 327 appearances

Dang. Yeah, I had a feeling. That dude did not get injured enough as an Arsenal player is what I was going to say

Last question. How many trophies did Luis Felipe Scolari win in his managerial career

Uncle Phil, great mustache. Not lying. Not lying. You think he oils it

100%. We're going to need a tally on how many of the Brazilian questions Matty's gone wrong

I don't care about this guy. He's going to lose. He's going to lose. He won you a World Cup

Come on. This is how cocky Brazilians are. I don't care about his way at the club level

Thank you for the World Cup. I need a reveal in 3, 2, 1

On the money. 31. Alexis wins. 31. Get out of here, bro

I mean, I had the same numbers. I had the same digits. Yo, get half a point

Hold on. Yo, flip that . Flip that . No, no, no. That was my mistake

That was my mistake. There we go. There we go. Spot on is sus

Sus. I see you stay after class for help here too. So I want to see what's going on here

Thanks for dinner, by the way. No problem. Battle Royale, round three

Who am I? The guy in second place. All right, let's get into it

First player. I am left-footed. I have played in Spain, Germany, France, and Portugal

I have won the Champions League twice. I won the Puskas Award in 2014

Angel de Maria. Frozen out. Thank God. We have one more. I knew that was wrong. Contrao

Frozen out. Contrao? Then you play for a... Puskas Award? I don't know

Oh, my God. I'm thinking of the Portuguese league. Wait. I know who it is

It's not Xabi Alonso, is it? Frozen out. Xabi Alonso. So you guys are all valid again

Right. He thinks he knows who it is. I'm going to read the last fact. I am Colombian. I'm Tarricas

Christian 1x. No! Yes! Duh! 2014! Okay, second one. Let's do it

I'm only going to read these once. If you make me repeat it, you will be frozen out

You will be. I am a midfielder. I have won nine league titles across Italy, Germany, and Spain

I have played in only one World Cup, but I won the Copa America twice

Nine league titles. I don't know his name, but he got the star tattoo. Vargas

Frozen out. Can I ask a question? No. Last clue. I am Chilean

Oh my God, I feel like a dummy. I know his name

I know exactly what he looks like. I hate myself. I hate myself. Oh

Hurry up. Say names Say names Say a name You don know it just say a name This is good though Say a name Oh my god What my name what your name

What's his name? Say a name. I know this. You don't know this

I know it. Vega? No, Vega. Okay, you go, go, he said you gotta say a name

I'm gonna give you guys one more clue. Please, just let, you said we had to say a name by the countdown, he hasn't said it yet

I don't know, Vargas, I say Vargas again, but that's not it. Arturo Vidal. Arturo Vidal is correct

Wow, guys, come on. You wouldn't let me until both of you said an alien. Arturo Vidal

Vidal. That's what I'm saying. Vidal. That's who it is. I need this round right here

Bro, I think you got this, bro. This round I got it. Get out of here. All right

Player number three. I am a winger. I have played in France, Spain, England, and Portugal

Damn. I have scored in four finals for my country. Four finals

I am left-footed. I won the Champions League Man of the Match in 2014

Good God. Can you name the countries again? Frozen. How dare you, bro

You know who I am. I'm joking, I'm joking. I honestly believe you too. I'm like, I'm not even making a high-cost

Professor's no joke, bro. I have played in France, Spain, England, and Portugal

I'm going to go Aja de Maria. Correct. Bang! Absolutely correct. All right, we have two more left

I am a retired striker. I have played with both Ronaldo and Messi

I have played in Spain, Italy, and England. Higuain. Correct. Bang. Wow

Maddie's finding a little second wind here. All right, let's go. Second half play. Let's go

Second half. Okay, I am Brazilian. We're all looking at the same person

I began my career as Sao Paulo. I won the Serie A

foreign-born player of the year in 2004, 2006. Pato. Frozen out. In 2007

Three-time win. I made a big move to La Liga in 2009

I have won the Ballon d'Or. Kaká. Correct. Oh! That's a freaking word

I was like, why is he saying it? I literally thought it

and I'm like, it's Kaká and I was waiting for him to finish it. We have two more players left

I am 5'9". Matty. No, I'm kidding. I've won the World Cup

and Copa America twice. Each twice? No, I've won the World Cup once. Let's rephrase that

Thank you. This is where talking up actually helps. You took a risk and you

paid off. You know what? Just for that, Matty froze it out. I've won the World Cup once and the Copa America

twice. I've won the Ere Divisie twice. Luis Barres. Lissandra Martinez. Lissandra Martinez is correct

When did Luis Suarez win the World Cup? I was like, oh, Luis Suarez

of course he's Argentinian. Is it Saja Martinez? I'm trying to let them

catch up on this. This has been a little bit frustrating being up here by myself. No, but this is your strong suit. I don't think the last game

you're going to do well. You don't know that. I know that. Don't let the professor talk to him. Well, he's clearly

your spot. If you guys ever decide, by the way, no unionizing here. We're replaceable, guys

Where are you going to find other Americans that know Saja? Very rare

Very rare. Last player. I moved countries in 2014. I won the PFA Fans Player of the Year

I am my country's all-time top goal scorer. The ugly dude, the striker, Douglas

Incorrect. Frozen out. You know what I'm talking about? Why does he have to be ugly? I don't know what I'm talking about. You're wrong

I can't remember his name now. Costa? Yeah. No. He's ugly. He's handsome

He's a very handsome guy. No, I'm not taking Douglas Costa. All right. Diego Costa. Diego Costa

Scary. He's not ugly. He has his own charm. I love it

You're like, he's scary. But damn, he look good. In 2018, I moved from one English club to another and took on an iconic number

Alexis Sanchez. Correct. Bang! We are tied. All right, round four trivia

It's a close one. I'm going to take the lead this round. Professor, take us away. I'm confident

Matty sucks, everybody. First question. Who is the only player in World Cup history to play in three finals

Is it A, Gafu, B, R9, or C, Pele? Show me your answers in 3, 2, 1

The answer is Gafu. You guys all got it wrong. Oh, I knew it wasn't Pele. 94-98-2002

He didn't win the 98-1. Yeah, that's what I didn't think he played in 94. I did not think he played in 94

Question number two. Who holds the record for the most passes completed in a World Cup match

Is it A, Casemiro, B, Alexis McAllister, or C, Carlos Valderrama? This is going to be a pure guess

And I'm going to need that guess in three, two, one. 0 for three again

The answer is Carlos Valderrama. Oh, my God. Bro, I was shocked. He never passes

All right, we'll go right into question three. How many stars are on the Uruguayan jersey

Is it A four B two or C3 3 3 2 1 Alexis you on the money

It's 4. Because of the Olympics. Because of the Olympics. Yes. You saved me having to explain it

So two of the stars are for the World Cups. They won in 1930, 1950. The other two are for the Olympics

They won. Those are fake stars. Well, the Olympics was the main competition before the World Cups. Exactly

That's why they had higher validity. Fake stars. Fake stars. Because they won that and they beat your ass

in the first one. When they can get five proper stars, they can talk to me. Sorry, Uruguayan fans out there

There's only three. There's only three and a half million of them. You're not putting that many people up

Question number four. Paul Mario played five seasons for which Dutch club

A, Ajax, B, PSV, or C, FC20? What's right over there? No, about me

Three, two, one. It is PSV. Alexis and Christian, you are both correct

Let's go. All right, so now we're at Alexis in the lead with 11. Maddie and Christian are both tied with nine

This is killing me. Where you at, Maddie? I'm just like I have them. What manager gave Lionel Messi his La Liga debut

Is it A, Pep Guardiola, B, Frank Reichardt, or C, Jose Peckerman

Three, two, one. it is Frank Reichardt. It is me. Frankie Boy

Maddie and Alexis both got it right. Christian, that might be the end of it for you. I'm not going to lie to you

Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Alexis, you're on a bit of a heater

Bro. It's a good route for you. Come on now. I tried to let him catch up, but... Football's 90 minutes

Let's go. You know, turbo's when the boost hits later in the..

You know what I mean? I think Alexis doesn't know what turbo means. I also might not know

My brain might have got fried there in that second part. I'm not going to lie. For this next question

I need you guys to close your eyes. You're going to have to write down the answer blindfolded. Oh, boy. Is that for real

Swear to God. All right, you ready? Which is the only Ecuadorian team

to win the Copa Libertadores? A, Emelec. B, Barcelona Soccer Club. Or C, Liga de Quito

Why do we have to close our eyes? Do I keep my eyes closed? You guys write everything down

Yeah. All right, open your eyes. Let me see your answers. Oh, shit

Oh, that was nice. That's pretty good. The answer is C, Liga de Quito. Quito won it

Yeah. That's the reason I just close your eyes. See that right there? Boom. Only team Ecuadorian team know what they do. Wow

Really? Quito won it? You looked at my shirt all day today. I thought you were trying to catch me

I needed that one. Question for you. Is FC Barcelona or whatever

Is that the best team in Ecuador as of like now? Liga de Quito is the best team. Let us know in the comments

The two Ecuadorians that are watching. One of them is my mother. Oh, hello

Next question. Where did Chicharito start his career? A. Monterrey B. Guadalajara

C. Club America This was too easy 3, 2, 1 You guys all got it right, it's Guadalajara

Wow, I really should have made that one more difficult I'm sorry Final question

Who is the only South American player to win the PFA Player of the Year award

Is it A. Sergio Aguero B. Alexis Sanchez Or C. Luis Suarez

they all should have won it that was kind of crazy 3, 2

it is it is Luis that is that is

chum chum chum chum bro that's a really impressive design for the time

I used to be an artist back in the day y'all find out about that

turns out they call it graffiti in some jurisdictions Now it's street art

Not in my time. It was vandalism. All right, this is it. Last round. Battle Royale

Last man standing. I got three lives. They got two. I don't know what the topic is

David, Professor Sanchez, hit me with it. The last man standing topic is South American Champions League winners

Alexis, we'll go with you first. Lionel Messi. Christian. Rodrigo. Casemiro. Neymar

Marcela. Vinny Jr. Luis Suarez. You have one life

I got one life left. Matt, you're going to you. Mic on, mic on. What are you just struggling

Three, two, one. You got two lives left. Matt, you can take the lead

Christian, go. Kaka? Does he win? Marquinhos. Luis Diaz. Whoa, whoa, whoa

We need to check on that. I don't think Luis Diaz has won the Champions League. Yeah, it might have been. He might have been after

He was not on the 2019 team. You have one life left. Alexis and Christian, you both have one life left

Maddie, you have two. Back in Christian, go. Oh, crap. Three, two, one

Christian, two out. Maddie, on you. Okay. Edison. Angel Di Maria. Allison

Does Chicharito count? Is it Mexico? I know, but we said, like, Latinos, or what are we doing here

Maddie, you won. Yes! Bro, he's wearing a Mexico shirt. How fitting

Oh, what a game