Soccercito - Battle Royale - 16JULY2025
Aug 28, 2025
Soccercito - Battle Royale - 16JULY2025
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0:00
Say a name
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You don't know it, just say a name! Spot on is sus
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Sus. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Ladies and gentlemen, today we are playing Battle Royale
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It's me versus this guy. That guy, I don't really know them, but either way, I'm going to beat them
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Round one is going to be true or false, and being the question master today is Professor Sanchez
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Yay! Let's go, Sanchez! Sanchez! Sanchez! Let's get into it. 10 true or false questions to start
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I'm going to start you guys with a really, really easy one, all right? Pele is the only player to win the World Cup three times
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True or false? You have a problem. I lost my marker already. All right, you lost
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You lost, bro. No, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Answer's ready? Yeah. Show them to your cameras
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The answer is true. No! Alexis is in the lead. Matt, you're Brazilian
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Dang. Do you guys want me to sit this out so that you guys have a chance of winning
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Or is that real cute? I actually gave you the first round so it could be even. Diego Maradona completed the most dribbles in a World Cup match with 15
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Something he would do, right? It sounds like something he would do. Passing? Never heard of it
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In three, two. The answer is true. I thought I might. I tried to trick y'all
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That was too specific. Damn it. Diego Maradona completed 15 dribbles in the 1986 World Cup versus Belgium
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Versus Belgium? Yeah, I remember that. I remember that. Did you play for the Belgium team? All right, question number three
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An Ecuadorian has never won the Champions League. True or false? An Ecuadorian has never won the Champions League
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Can I remind everyone that Professor Sanchez is Ecuadorian? Yeah. My wife is Ecuadorian
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You're married? Yeah. How old are you? 26. Jeez, I'm 27. I'm so behind
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All right. High school sweetheart. We've been dating since like 30 years. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Actually, we've all found love, dude
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I don't know what's going on with you. That's crazy. All right, reveal your answers in five
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All right, wait. The answer is False There we go You guys all got it right
2:05
Julian Pacho Just won it with PSG this year And with his contribution
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Ecuador is going to win The World Cup next year And if he would have been In the Club World Cup They would have won that as well
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I don't know about that one I think so too I like where your head's at This is where the energy
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That I want My head's firmly up Your ass right now Because I'm kissing it Question number four Chicharito
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Was the first Mexican player To play in a Champions League final True or false
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question. Chicharito. Who else could have? The answer is false. Yes. Rafa Marquez
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Rafa Marquez was the first Mexican player to premiere in the Champions League final
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in 2006 versus Arsenal. Arsenal. There you go. I just wanted to jab you there real quick
2:46
Sorry, Samuel Leto is a criminal. Cheated that day, bro. Question five. Javier Zanetti
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is the most capped Argentinian player of all time with 143 appearances. True or false
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3, 2, 1. Reveal your answers. No more writing. This is true. The answer
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is true. Christian, let's go. Tied with the lead with Alexis Matty, you are falling apart
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No, it's true. No, no, he got true. Oh, that looks like an F. I know, but it is true
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You see, I wrote it out. Can we get a play? I want a judgment on my decision. He said true. He's British
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I started with it. He's British. It's true, man. Yeah, he's true. He's true
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It's just like, I threw it across the room. On Tuesday, it's true
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Our lips don't ever touch them. Question number six. No player has ever played for both Boca Juniors and River Plate
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True or false? I don't know. This is... I feel you can't play it both
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Yeah, I mean, it would be irresponsible. But somebody had to, right? I'm trying to mess up him a little bit
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Three. Sol Campbell did, I think. Two. reveal your answers you got designs now i had a lot of time bro the answer is
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false false man can you guys name me a player that's played for both was he the most hated
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person in argentina at one point oh no he's got he's got long hair you love him i can't remember
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you ride for him i had to talk you down a ledge from choosing him yesterday oh uh batistuta batistuta
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that did play for River Valley. And I would have won yesterday had he let me choose them
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No, no, no, no, no, no. He said he wouldn't have allowed it. Remember, this is a dictatorship
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Question number seven. Why do we call him professor? Dictator Sandro. I need to bring a ruler with me
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Sorry, Binochet is talking. Question seven. Brazil holds the record for most appearances
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in the Copa America final. True or false? Matty, you look way too confused, man
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You're the fakest Brazilian I've ever met. What are you going to put? Nah, I'm acting confused, so then I can, like
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Are you going to write Tulse on there? Reveal your answers. It is false
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Ooh, did we all get it wrong? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Okay, I got a good one for you
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And I'm sorry this is all Brazilian skewed, but it doesn't seem to give an advantage to Matty whatsoever
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No not at all Vinicius Jr is the only Brazilian to score in a Champions League final True or false Oh I stumped you guys I love this
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Reveal your answers in 3, 2, 1. You guys all got it right. It's false
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Who can name me another Brazilian that scored in a Champions League final? Neymar Jr. vs Juventus. Can you name me another one
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Neymar Jr. vs Juventus. I just thought about his iconic goal, MSN
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Marcelo vs Atletico in 2014. That's a great one. Going into the last two questions, Madian and Alexis are tied at five
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Christian, you're not far ahead. Not far behind. Not far. Oh, not far behind. So I really want you to win
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Don't ever talk to the dictator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just telling that, buddy. All right, let's go
5:58
A Colombian has never played for Tottenham. True or false? I'm going to start the clock now
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Oh, shit. Three, two, one. Reveal your answers. Why would you? They're dusty, bro
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The answer is false. Hey! Hey! Can you name the Colombian that played for Tottenham
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Davidson Sanchez. Let's go! Oh, that's a good one! Wow! I knew immediately, bro
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This is exactly what I wanted. Shit? Nice. What do you think of shit
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Tottenham? That's all. Thank you, man. Going into the last question, we're all tied at five
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Wow. But the last question is, Brazil holds the head-to-head record versus Argentina
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True or false? Wait. Brazil? When they play each other. Yes. Reveal your answers in three, two, one. One
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Alexis, congratulations. No way! What? The answer is true, and you take the advantage going into the next round
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Let's go! I was completely guessing. Battle Royale, round two, shot the dark
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Let's get into it. Boom! Let's go. Okay. Just so you know, the weather's a little bit nicer up here
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Y'all should come up here. You're shorter than me. But now with the stilettos I'm wearing, now with these extra points
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Question number one. Yeah? Radamel Falcao has won the UEFA Europa League two times
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How many goals in the competition does he have? In Europa League? In the Europa League competition
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How many goals does he have? Do you need more explanation, dude? Or you got this? No, I got it now
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Reveal your answers in three, two, one. The answer is 30. Alexis, you win
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Wow. 30. 30. Damn, bro. Question number two. Willian has the most appearances in the Premier League out of any South American player
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How many appearances does he have? Alexis is trying to remember how many horrible performances he had for Arsenal
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None of you were close, but Christian was the closest. 327 appearances
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Dang. Yeah, I had a feeling. That dude did not get injured enough as an Arsenal player is what I was going to say
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Last question. How many trophies did Luis Felipe Scolari win in his managerial career
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Uncle Phil, great mustache. Not lying. Not lying. You think he oils it
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100%. We're going to need a tally on how many of the Brazilian questions Matty's gone wrong
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I don't care about this guy. He's going to lose. He's going to lose. He won you a World Cup
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Come on. This is how cocky Brazilians are. I don't care about his way at the club level
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Thank you for the World Cup. I need a reveal in 3, 2, 1
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On the money. 31. Alexis wins. 31. Get out of here, bro
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I mean, I had the same numbers. I had the same digits. Yo, get half a point
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Hold on. Yo, flip that . Flip that . No, no, no. That was my mistake
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That was my mistake. There we go. There we go. Spot on is sus
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Sus. I see you stay after class for help here too. So I want to see what's going on here
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Thanks for dinner, by the way. No problem. Battle Royale, round three
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Who am I? The guy in second place. All right, let's get into it
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First player. I am left-footed. I have played in Spain, Germany, France, and Portugal
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I have won the Champions League twice. I won the Puskas Award in 2014
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Angel de Maria. Frozen out. Thank God. We have one more. I knew that was wrong. Contrao
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Frozen out. Contrao? Then you play for a... Puskas Award? I don't know
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Oh, my God. I'm thinking of the Portuguese league. Wait. I know who it is
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It's not Xabi Alonso, is it? Frozen out. Xabi Alonso. So you guys are all valid again
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Right. He thinks he knows who it is. I'm going to read the last fact. I am Colombian. I'm Tarricas
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Christian 1x. No! Yes! Duh! 2014! Okay, second one. Let's do it
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I'm only going to read these once. If you make me repeat it, you will be frozen out
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You will be. I am a midfielder. I have won nine league titles across Italy, Germany, and Spain
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I have played in only one World Cup, but I won the Copa America twice
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Nine league titles. I don't know his name, but he got the star tattoo. Vargas
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Frozen out. Can I ask a question? No. Last clue. I am Chilean
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Oh my God, I feel like a dummy. I know his name
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I know exactly what he looks like. I hate myself. I hate myself. Oh
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Hurry up. Say names Say names Say a name You don know it just say a name This is good though Say a name Oh my god What my name what your name
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What's his name? Say a name. I know this. You don't know this
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I know it. Vega? No, Vega. Okay, you go, go, he said you gotta say a name
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I'm gonna give you guys one more clue. Please, just let, you said we had to say a name by the countdown, he hasn't said it yet
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I don't know, Vargas, I say Vargas again, but that's not it. Arturo Vidal. Arturo Vidal is correct
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Wow, guys, come on. You wouldn't let me until both of you said an alien. Arturo Vidal
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Vidal. That's what I'm saying. Vidal. That's who it is. I need this round right here
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Bro, I think you got this, bro. This round I got it. Get out of here. All right
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Player number three. I am a winger. I have played in France, Spain, England, and Portugal
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Damn. I have scored in four finals for my country. Four finals
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I am left-footed. I won the Champions League Man of the Match in 2014
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Good God. Can you name the countries again? Frozen. How dare you, bro
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You know who I am. I'm joking, I'm joking. I honestly believe you too. I'm like, I'm not even making a high-cost
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Professor's no joke, bro. I have played in France, Spain, England, and Portugal
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I'm going to go Aja de Maria. Correct. Bang! Absolutely correct. All right, we have two more left
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I am a retired striker. I have played with both Ronaldo and Messi
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I have played in Spain, Italy, and England. Higuain. Correct. Bang. Wow
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Maddie's finding a little second wind here. All right, let's go. Second half play. Let's go
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Second half. Okay, I am Brazilian. We're all looking at the same person
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I began my career as Sao Paulo. I won the Serie A
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foreign-born player of the year in 2004, 2006. Pato. Frozen out. In 2007
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Three-time win. I made a big move to La Liga in 2009
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I have won the Ballon d'Or. Kaká. Correct. Oh! That's a freaking word
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I was like, why is he saying it? I literally thought it
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and I'm like, it's Kaká and I was waiting for him to finish it. We have two more players left
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I am 5'9". Matty. No, I'm kidding. I've won the World Cup
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and Copa America twice. Each twice? No, I've won the World Cup once. Let's rephrase that
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Thank you. This is where talking up actually helps. You took a risk and you
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paid off. You know what? Just for that, Matty froze it out. I've won the World Cup once and the Copa America
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twice. I've won the Ere Divisie twice. Luis Barres. Lissandra Martinez. Lissandra Martinez is correct
13:30
When did Luis Suarez win the World Cup? I was like, oh, Luis Suarez
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of course he's Argentinian. Is it Saja Martinez? I'm trying to let them
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catch up on this. This has been a little bit frustrating being up here by myself. No, but this is your strong suit. I don't think the last game
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you're going to do well. You don't know that. I know that. Don't let the professor talk to him. Well, he's clearly
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your spot. If you guys ever decide, by the way, no unionizing here. We're replaceable, guys
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Where are you going to find other Americans that know Saja? Very rare
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Very rare. Last player. I moved countries in 2014. I won the PFA Fans Player of the Year
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I am my country's all-time top goal scorer. The ugly dude, the striker, Douglas
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Incorrect. Frozen out. You know what I'm talking about? Why does he have to be ugly? I don't know what I'm talking about. You're wrong
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I can't remember his name now. Costa? Yeah. No. He's ugly. He's handsome
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He's a very handsome guy. No, I'm not taking Douglas Costa. All right. Diego Costa. Diego Costa
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Scary. He's not ugly. He has his own charm. I love it
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You're like, he's scary. But damn, he look good. In 2018, I moved from one English club to another and took on an iconic number
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Alexis Sanchez. Correct. Bang! We are tied. All right, round four trivia
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It's a close one. I'm going to take the lead this round. Professor, take us away. I'm confident
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Matty sucks, everybody. First question. Who is the only player in World Cup history to play in three finals
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Is it A, Gafu, B, R9, or C, Pele? Show me your answers in 3, 2, 1
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The answer is Gafu. You guys all got it wrong. Oh, I knew it wasn't Pele. 94-98-2002
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He didn't win the 98-1. Yeah, that's what I didn't think he played in 94. I did not think he played in 94
15:22
Question number two. Who holds the record for the most passes completed in a World Cup match
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Is it A, Casemiro, B, Alexis McAllister, or C, Carlos Valderrama? This is going to be a pure guess
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And I'm going to need that guess in three, two, one. 0 for three again
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The answer is Carlos Valderrama. Oh, my God. Bro, I was shocked. He never passes
15:48
All right, we'll go right into question three. How many stars are on the Uruguayan jersey
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Is it A four B two or C3 3 3 2 1 Alexis you on the money
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It's 4. Because of the Olympics. Because of the Olympics. Yes. You saved me having to explain it
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So two of the stars are for the World Cups. They won in 1930, 1950. The other two are for the Olympics
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They won. Those are fake stars. Well, the Olympics was the main competition before the World Cups. Exactly
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That's why they had higher validity. Fake stars. Fake stars. Because they won that and they beat your ass
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in the first one. When they can get five proper stars, they can talk to me. Sorry, Uruguayan fans out there
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There's only three. There's only three and a half million of them. You're not putting that many people up
16:36
Question number four. Paul Mario played five seasons for which Dutch club
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A, Ajax, B, PSV, or C, FC20? What's right over there? No, about me
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Three, two, one. It is PSV. Alexis and Christian, you are both correct
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Let's go. All right, so now we're at Alexis in the lead with 11. Maddie and Christian are both tied with nine
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This is killing me. Where you at, Maddie? I'm just like I have them. What manager gave Lionel Messi his La Liga debut
17:11
Is it A, Pep Guardiola, B, Frank Reichardt, or C, Jose Peckerman
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Three, two, one. it is Frank Reichardt. It is me. Frankie Boy
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Maddie and Alexis both got it right. Christian, that might be the end of it for you. I'm not going to lie to you
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Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. Alexis, you're on a bit of a heater
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Bro. It's a good route for you. Come on now. I tried to let him catch up, but... Football's 90 minutes
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Let's go. You know, turbo's when the boost hits later in the..
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You know what I mean? I think Alexis doesn't know what turbo means. I also might not know
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My brain might have got fried there in that second part. I'm not going to lie. For this next question
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I need you guys to close your eyes. You're going to have to write down the answer blindfolded. Oh, boy. Is that for real
17:59
Swear to God. All right, you ready? Which is the only Ecuadorian team
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to win the Copa Libertadores? A, Emelec. B, Barcelona Soccer Club. Or C, Liga de Quito
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Why do we have to close our eyes? Do I keep my eyes closed? You guys write everything down
18:15
Yeah. All right, open your eyes. Let me see your answers. Oh, shit
18:19
Oh, that was nice. That's pretty good. The answer is C, Liga de Quito. Quito won it
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Yeah. That's the reason I just close your eyes. See that right there? Boom. Only team Ecuadorian team know what they do. Wow
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Really? Quito won it? You looked at my shirt all day today. I thought you were trying to catch me
18:33
I needed that one. Question for you. Is FC Barcelona or whatever
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Is that the best team in Ecuador as of like now? Liga de Quito is the best team. Let us know in the comments
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The two Ecuadorians that are watching. One of them is my mother. Oh, hello
18:50
Next question. Where did Chicharito start his career? A. Monterrey B. Guadalajara
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C. Club America This was too easy 3, 2, 1 You guys all got it right, it's Guadalajara
19:04
Wow, I really should have made that one more difficult I'm sorry Final question
19:08
Who is the only South American player to win the PFA Player of the Year award
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Is it A. Sergio Aguero B. Alexis Sanchez Or C. Luis Suarez
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they all should have won it that was kind of crazy 3, 2
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it is it is Luis that is that is
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chum chum chum chum bro that's a really impressive design for the time
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I used to be an artist back in the day y'all find out about that
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turns out they call it graffiti in some jurisdictions Now it's street art
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Not in my time. It was vandalism. All right, this is it. Last round. Battle Royale
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Last man standing. I got three lives. They got two. I don't know what the topic is
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David, Professor Sanchez, hit me with it. The last man standing topic is South American Champions League winners
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Alexis, we'll go with you first. Lionel Messi. Christian. Rodrigo. Casemiro. Neymar
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Marcela. Vinny Jr. Luis Suarez. You have one life
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I got one life left. Matt, you're going to you. Mic on, mic on. What are you just struggling
20:29
Three, two, one. You got two lives left. Matt, you can take the lead
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Christian, go. Kaka? Does he win? Marquinhos. Luis Diaz. Whoa, whoa, whoa
20:42
We need to check on that. I don't think Luis Diaz has won the Champions League. Yeah, it might have been. He might have been after
20:47
He was not on the 2019 team. You have one life left. Alexis and Christian, you both have one life left
20:52
Maddie, you have two. Back in Christian, go. Oh, crap. Three, two, one
20:59
Christian, two out. Maddie, on you. Okay. Edison. Angel Di Maria. Allison
21:06
Does Chicharito count? Is it Mexico? I know, but we said, like, Latinos, or what are we doing here
21:10
Maddie, you won. Yes! Bro, he's wearing a Mexico shirt. How fitting
21:19
Oh, what a game
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