Love in the Age of Dating Coaches

As dating apps and digital communication have reshaped modern love, a new profession has emerged: the dating coach. These experts offer advice on everything from creating the perfect profile to decoding text messages, and for a fee, they'll even accompany clients on dates to provide in-the-moment feedback. The industry is booming, with estimated global revenues of $260 million in 2022, up from $200 million in 2021, according to IBISWorld, a market research firm. And with the pandemic-driven surge in online dating, demand is only increasing. But some experts are cautioning that the proliferation of dating coaches may be having unintended consequences, promoting unrealistic expectations and undermining people's ability to develop meaningful relationships on their own. "There's a lot of pressure on people to find 'the one,' and dating coaches can sometimes contribute to that," said Dr. Brooke Sprowl, a clinical psychologist in Cambridge, Mass. "It can make people feel like they're not capable of navigating relationships on their own." Critics also argue that the industry is largely unregulated and that some coaches may be taking advantage of vulnerable clients. Last year, the Federal Trade Commission warned against "romance scams," in which people pose as dating coaches to defraud clients. Despite these concerns, many people are turning to dating coaches for help. "I was at a point where I felt like I'd tried everything," said Sarah Goldberg, a 32-year-old marketing executive in Los Angeles who hired a coach last year. "I was really struggling to meet someone, and I felt like I needed someone to guide me." Her coach, whom she found through a referral, helped her revamp her online profile and suggested some new approaches to messaging. She also accompanied Goldberg on several dates, giving her feedback on her behavior and conversation skills. "It was really helpful to have someone there to give me honest feedback," Goldberg said. "It made me feel less alone in the process." Some coaches specialize in particular demographics, such as older adults or members of the LGBTQ+ community. Others focus on specific issues, such as social anxiety or trauma. Many coaches have backgrounds in therapy or counseling, and some hold advanced degrees in psychology or social work. But even among the experts, there is debate about the value of coaching. Some argue that it can be helpful for people who are struggling to navigate the complexities of modern dating, while others believe that it can be counterproductive.