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This video provides an in-depth look at how to control compulsive eating by working with your thoughts.
To get a handle on compulsive eating, you must understand the compulsions driving the eating.
Why do you get caught with such cravings? Why do such thoughts cross your mind?
This post specifically deals with how to handle intrusive thoughts, which are some of the most powerful forces driving and forcing you to automatically eat.
To be fair and balanced, to truly stop compulsive eating you have to learn and practice more skills than stopping intrusive thoughts.
I will briefly list these skills here and provide a quick big picture 10,000 foot description so you can see how these all fit together.
First, some other additional skills to stop compulsive eating:
- meet emotional needs
- listen to belly and hunger
- get feedback on nutrition via your body
- learn to enjoy food at an emotional level
- understand triggers, your "story" and your relationship with food
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0:00
Have you ever just walked by some food? You weren't thinking, you had no cravings, you had nothing in your mind, but then all of a sudden, bam, your mouth is full, you're three donuts in, three candies in, whatever
0:12
You have this food in your mouth and you're like, where did that even come from? How is that even possible
0:17
So today we're going to be covering the thought aspect, the mental thought aspect, the intrusive thoughts about compulsive eating and how to get rid of these intrusive thoughts, how to work with them
0:32
Because if I'm being honest, you don't get rid of them. You change your reactions to them, at least initially
0:38
initially you change your reactions to these intrusive thoughts and over time you rewire
0:45
your story you reprogram your mind and the thoughts dim down over time but they don't go
0:51
away right away so the key to understanding this whole compulsive eating thing where you're just
0:58
you get a thought in your head has that ever happened to you like let's say if i say i'm not
1:03
trying to do this to be rude or anything just i've worked with people it was a philly cheesesteak
1:07
for one guy. Another girl, it was chocolate ice cream. There are foods that are like magnets where
1:14
as soon as you think about it, you see an advertisement, you see an image, um, what have you
1:19
it's just bam, it's in your brain and you can only resist for so long. Now, again, in this video
1:29
we're just covering the thought aspect of it. I'm going to give the simple technique on how to deal
1:35
with these thoughts and then we'll kind of build on that. The simple technique is narration
1:41
Narration is where you use your eyes and verbally state out loud what you're seeing. And I'll say
1:46
I'll do an example and then I'll give you an example of someone who has intrusive thoughts
1:51
and how this narration technique can help people and help you shift your relationship
1:59
shift your reaction to these intrusive thoughts. So me as a, pretend I'm a person who's just
2:05
noting things. So I'm just looking at the camera and I'll say, I see trees. I see more trees. I see
2:13
a phone in front of me. I see a sky. I see a road. I see a car passing by. And you just do that
2:24
Okay? It's very simple, but guess what will happen when you are in the midst of a compulsive thought, okay
2:32
You're going to go like, oh, this just happened the other day
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I was working with a woman, and she was telling me her story, and we hadn't touched upon this yet, so this is a perfect opportunity
2:44
I asked her. She's starting to tell me about her day and, you know, what she had eaten so far and so forth
2:51
and we're at a good stage in our relationship. We've worked on hunger
2:55
and we've done a bunch of other aspects in addition to that. Anyways, she says
3:00
she started overeating something and then I said, all right, just hold on
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hold on right there. I want you just to pause and tell me what you're seeing
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I taught her this narration technique, but I didn't tell her what would most likely happen
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And this is what she did. She started going on. She started, tell me what you see around you
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She was in her, and like some wonderful rooms in her house. So I forget exactly what she said, but she was telling me like the walls, the stuff on the walls, the door
3:26
And then all of a sudden she broke out and she said something like, but I can't believe like I ate that, that food
3:34
Like, ah, I just like, ah, I'm so bad at this. Like, God, I suck at like eating
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I cannot control myself. Like, I don't know what's up with me. And the way she was talking, the venom, like I'm not fully communicating that, but there was venom
3:48
There was self-hatred there and it was exacerbating as she got on
3:55
And then I was able to just say, okay, go back to noticing
4:01
And she was like, whoa, like what just happened there? And we talked about it
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We said, you just had an automatic, automatic intrusive thought, an automatic negative thought
4:11
and instead of beating yourself up for having these thoughts, we need to expect these thoughts
4:18
so that you can let them go and return to narration more quickly. So, um, I asked her to
4:25
practice this and when she practices, what she'll find out is that when she practices, she'll, she'll
4:30
let's say she's having a compulsive thought. So she redirects her attention. I see the white wall
4:38
I see, I see whatever's in front of her. Lose your eyes, you know. The reason this technique works is because when you state what you see, your brain can
4:47
only focus on so much at a time. So this gives you something tangible
4:51
And when you say it out loud, it really directs the attention from your brain to something
4:56
in your brain is caught in these compulsive thoughts. So when you narrate it, it gets you out of that
5:02
And you're able to then get a little bit of space and see, wow, I got caught by that compulsive thought
5:08
So when you by yourself here something that you can try Go narrate If you have a craving or even if you find yourself all of a sudden eating food pause for a moment and just do this narration technique
5:21
And what'll happen, this is what we need to change our expectations around. You need to expect that you are going to
5:27
go into an automatic thought. You are going to say, why am I eating this food right now
5:35
Why do I want this food? Like, I can't believe it. Why don't I have discipline
5:38
like you're gonna berate yourself you've got to expect that okay this is the short term we're
5:45
gonna cover the big picture in a little bit this is what happens in the short term okay
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you're gonna have this thought you need to expect it a that's enough like if you just practice
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uh noticing oh wow i just had a compulsive negative thought right there let me go back to
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my narration. Let me go back to noticing the desk, the refrigerator, the whatever is surrounding
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Let me go back to noticing my surroundings. Go back and you'll, you'll be able to let go of that
6:21
compulsive thought, that intrusive thought. And by, by going back, you're, you're
6:29
the fundamental paradigm changes. Instead of seeing these thoughts as, as that you fail for having these thoughts or that you can't control yourself, it's more saying
6:43
I'm going to have these thoughts and I can do something about it. I can shift my attention
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So this is how you begin to work with these thoughts is you just notice them
6:57
And I know you might have heard that in a meditation class where they say, oh, just notice your thoughts
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And the problem and what comes up for a lot of people is that there's this subconscious belief that they should not be having these thoughts
7:09
They should not be having these thoughts. And, you know, so we have to be aware of that belief that you should not be having these thoughts
7:21
Because remember, remember, remember, remember, what did I say earlier? You don't get rid of these thoughts in the beginning. You get rid of them in the long term
7:29
So in the beginning you need to expect you're going to have these thoughts You need to expect it. Okay, like that is so important
7:36
If you're going to get rid of compulsive eating you need to expect you're going to have these compulsive thoughts
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The expectation is what this is all about when you do the narration technique you see
7:47
You'll just be narrating and bam you're off in a negative loop and you didn't do anything about it
7:54
Like, it just happened, all right? Like, you just were living, you did not have an intention, it just happened
8:03
And you start to see and you start to bring acceptance and compassion towards the fact that
8:07
as you are currently programmed, as you are currently wired, your childhood experiences
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your karma, they've led you to this moment right now, and your brain has this conditioning
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And this conditioning is so powerful that it automatically triggers you to have this compulsive thought
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It's not your fault. You know, this is one of the biggest weight loss enlightenments
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It's not your fault. You can reprogram your brain, but this is how it is right now
8:35
So let's not beat ourselves up for the past. Let's let go of the past
8:39
Let's reprogram our brain going forward. So important, okay? And this is the first step to long-term success, all right
8:46
I want to detail the long-term success. I'll take a moment just real quick. If you do like this video, go ahead
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Please, please, please leave a thumbs up, comment, engage. Would love to just know how this is resonating with you and what topics you want to learn
9:00
about more in the future. Now, the big picture is rewiring, quote unquote, your story
9:10
This is a deeper sense of who you are. um like the key paradigm is realizing that you write your story moment by moment it's not like
9:21
you have some story that's just in your body that automatically manifests no your story is something
9:28
it's actually a story that you've told yourself many many times before and so now you just almost
9:33
automatically tell yourself this story um whenever you get into situations revolving around food
9:39
Oftentimes, I'll just go into this real quick. Oftentimes, the story began in childhood
9:44
You felt some stressful emotion. Your parents weren't there to nurture you. You used food to protect you so you felt safe
9:51
You developed a story. Whether or not you were aware you developed a story, you developed a story around food
9:56
that food protects me. If I'm in danger, I need to protect myself with food
10:01
And this story replays on and on and on today. So the key to reprogram your story is, first of all, understanding the content of those compulsive thoughts, of those automatic negative thoughts
10:15
Because the content of these negative thoughts is the key, like the content of the negative thoughts is your story
10:25
So in the moment these negative thoughts will come up They habitual they familiar they automatic And understanding the content of these is how you rewire your story
10:38
So the content, it's gonna be specific to you as a person individually
10:44
But for example, the content of a negative thought be, I can't handle this right now
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Like, I don't have time for this. I don't know how to do this
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I fail every time I try this. I, this doesn't work, okay
11:04
And this thought that comes up is gonna seem true. It's gonna seem true
11:09
But if you're able to bring, shine the light of consciousness, if you're able to shine the light of consciousness
11:19
all right, this is really, really important. If you're able to shine the light of consciousness
11:23
into your thoughts, you will be able to see through the shadows and understand how your
11:34
thoughts are illusions. I'll try to, I will get more tangible than that. We're just going big
11:40
metaphors right now so you can understand the big picture. Um, so let's say you're using the
11:46
narration technique, you start to generate space and around the intrusive thoughts. So instead of
11:53
blaming yourself, you're now accepting, wow, these thoughts are going to come up. That's how my brain
11:57
is programmed. And as you shift your stance and composure to these automatic negative thoughts
12:03
you then gain the mental headspace and clarity to then shine your awareness and actually examine
12:09
these three things about the thought. This can help you reframe the thought and reframe your
12:13
story. You ask, would I be speaking like this to a loved one or a dog or someone I love? And number
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two, are there other scenarios? Are there other explanations for this negative thought? These are
12:28
actual ways you can rewrite your story. So when you have a negative thought, the thought will
12:36
often be a voice. You suck. You can't do this. And you have to think, you have to reframe
12:42
or you have to ask yourself rather. The first one was, uh, the first reframe was, um, would I be
12:48
speaking like this to my dog or someone I love? And for me personally, cause I do these techniques
12:53
on myself. All right. I've gone through the ringer in terms of marijuana addiction. I've gone through
12:58
the fricking ringer in terms of, um, uh, shame and emotional growth. And this works. Okay. Um
13:08
just the other day, uh, I was really struggling with like a weed craving and I felt it in my heart
13:16
I felt the, the, the pain. And this is kind of a separate topic, feeling it in your body. But the
13:21
thought, the thought was, um, I need this right now. I need this right now. And so
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So I, I then tried to shift my perspective to seeing myself. I tried to speak love to myself
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So I imagined myself as a high school kid when I didn't have as many emotional coping skills
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And I imagined him saying, I need this right now. I need this right now. I need to back in high
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school. I was binge eating when I was wrestling. I need this right now. There's that desperation. I need this right now. That's how I was kind of saying that. That voice in my head was desperate
14:00
And how I imagined my 16-year-old self saying that. And I said, what really do you need right now
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And the answer was rest. I'd been working my ass off for like several days in a row. And I had hit
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a wall. And then I was able to rest out for about six hours, just going on a walk, took a break from
14:24
work, took a nap, and I was able to call a friend. I practiced self-care and the craving went away
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But the key was is that I was able to catch that negative thought, notice the tone
14:39
and then shift how I was speaking to myself. This is literally me rewriting my story and hopefully
14:46
making it clear to you. Leave a comment below if you understand what I mean. The second one is understanding other plausible scenarios. So this is a tough one for people. Well, you list three
14:57
other scenarios. So let's say you have this automatic negative thought, you've done the hard
15:00
work and you've caught the thought, and now you're sitting with the thought, you want to grab the
15:04
food, but you know that you have to build up, you have to reframe your thought, you have to practice
15:09
this, it takes practice, okay? So you're practicing rewriting your story, you've caught the thought
15:14
you're you're you're wrestling you're in that moment where you want the food you want the food
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and you you have tunnel vision for the food but you you're not going for it the food is not in
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your mouth or even if it is you've you paused there's a pause there you're wrestling and you
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think what is another scenario what do i really need right here how why is this craving here
15:36
another answer you want to break from work um you actually hungry um you want to avoid feeling bad Um there Why do I want this I feeling rejected You come up for
15:52
another reason why you want the food. This over time broadens your perspective. They say that
15:58
thoughts lead to feelings or just thoughts lead to action. Let's just simplify it. Thoughts lead
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to action, right? So when you have tunnel vision, you can only think of that food. You're going to
16:08
only have one option available to you, which is to eat that food. Now, if you can pause in that
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uncomfortable space and try to reframe this story again, as you practice reframing, you'll get better
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at it. Um, but as you practice, it's uncomfortable. You're rewriting a new story. It's uncomfortable
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and if you ask what are other plausible scenarios, like why is this compulsion here
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What's behind it? If you do that and you come up with three answers, you'll then gain cognitive flexibility
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which over time will lead you to realize, wow, either I don't want this food
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or I only want a little bit of this food. I don't even like the taste of this food
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It'll give you mental space to see the food as it is because here's the thing. Oftentimes people, they're so stressed out when they compulsively
17:03
eat that they don't pay attention to the food they're eating. And if they pay attention to it
17:09
if they get out of tunnel vision to pay attention to it, they might realize they only wanted one bite or they only wanted a little bit, but when they mindlessly eat
17:19
when you mindlessly eat, then you eat too much and it goes on and on and on and on
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so this is just one aspect we're talking about getting rid of the thought aspect of compulsive
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eating i feel like this is about the end of where i'll stop explaining just to keep things like i
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said we talked about today we talked about the narration aspect just to recap this whole thing
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uh we talked about the narration aspect so you first got to be aware of your thoughts that comes
17:49
from narrating and expecting these negative thoughts. And then when you can catch these
17:54
thoughts, you're aware, Oh wow, I'm having a negative thought right now. Um, you then practice
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reframing by asking how would I talk to myself? Is this negative thought unduly harsh? Is it too
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harsh to me? Would I speak this way to a friend? And maybe there's another explanation for this
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thought. You know, for example, if you thought, wow, I always fail with food. Well, is that always
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true? You know, like maybe you have eaten healthy before. You don't always fail. So how is a better
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way to say, you know, how is a better word? How is a better phrase that you struggle with food
18:30
It's not that you always fail. You struggle. That's more realistic. It's cognitive flexibility
18:35
And this is hard. Sometimes I'll work with people in session and, you know, it can be a struggle
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to come up with that third option. So remember three plausible scenarios
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Let's say you're thinking you're a failure. You say, oh man, I'm a failure. Okay, what's another plausible explanation
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Well, you struggle, yeah. Maybe you have two highest standards, yeah. Maybe you just need a little bit of food
19:01
to distract yourself or whatever. Coming up with that third option sometimes
19:05
for people is really, really tough. And we need to realize this skill
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takes a lot of time to practice. This isn't like, you know, emotional eating is deep and it takes a while to rewire your brain. So like in session
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someone's pretty calm. You know, we're actually having a pretty good time. Like they're calm
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They're, you know, my energy is with them and they're, they're feeling good energy
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And even in this calm state, it's hard to think of a third option. So we need to bring compassion
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to ourselves in these stressful moments when the intrusive thought is there, when the craving is
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there, when that automatic tendency is there, it is hard to rewire your brain in these circumstances
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It is hard. It's hard to do it in a calm session. It's even harder to do it in the moment
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but you can do it and you can practice. All right. You got to lower your standards. I'm going to go
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on a little rant and then we'll close up, but you got to lower your standards. When you first begin
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this. Success is pausing and practicing. That's success. In Zen, where I lived for 13 months as a
20:09
Zen monk, we learned that practice equals enlightenment. You don't wait for enlightenment
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someday. You practice now. And by practicing now, you manifest it later on. So practice equals
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enlightenment. When you practice rewiring your story, you're not going to rewire your story
20:27
overnight, but that is a success. Even if you then go eat the food, it is a success. Do not
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disconnect from your body. When you eat that food, stay connected to your senses, eat the food
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mindfully. Don't go into automatic eating or automatic blaming. If you do go into automatic
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blaming or eating, remember that is an intrusive thought. You can still then shift back to narration
20:47
and, um, and, and, um, what's it called? Yeah. You can still shift back to narration. So, um
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That is it for today. And hope this helps. Alright. Peace
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#Eating Disorders
#Mental Health