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24,000 votes from Earth humans in the Earth capital in a first-past-the-post election
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It's never been done before. It's a record. Labour's Sadiq Khan has today been re-elected Mayor of London for a historic third term
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In total, Kahn secured just over 1,088,000 votes, beating his Conservative opponent, Susan Hall
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who came in on around 812,000. Sadiq Khan won a majority of 275,000 and almost a 44% share of the vote
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In third place, Liberal Democrat Rob Blackie secured 145,000 votes, closely followed by the Green Party's Zoe Garbert
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Reform UK's Howard Cox came fifth on almost 79,000, while Count Binface, in third to last place on 24,000, beat Britain firsts to Nick Scanlon on 20,500
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The incumbent mayor who's been in post for the past eight years was re-elected as he snapped up support from across the capital, despite turnout across London being down from 2021
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and 2016 on 40.5%. It came despite conservative briefings on Friday, suggesting Hall, a former Harrow council leader
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an ex-city-hall Tory group leader, could snatch victory in the capital. After turnout figures indicated higher voter numbers
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in outer London areas, less likely to be a fan of the ULES policy
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But Labour were triumphant today as they celebrated the news as the best-ever re-election result for any London mayor
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Sources said the result was a landslide win in London and the biggest ever margin of victory in a mayoral election
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Both candidates made speeches at City Hall today after the result was declared
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but Khan was met with booze as he took to the stage, with a man chanting Khan killed London
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told he would be removed by security. Sadiq Khan said he had faced a campaign of non-stop negativity
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but that he couldn be more proud that we answered hate with hope and attempts to divide with efforts to unite While Susan Hall reminded her supporters the things she cares about most is reforming the Met Police
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She urged Sadiq to make this a top priority and to stop patronising people who care
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This isn't an episode of the wire. This is real life on his watch, she said
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So, Count Bimface, you haven't won the mayoral election today. How are you feeling
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Well, I haven't won it numerically, Citi AM, but I would say I have won it morally
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Why? because 24,000 votes from Earth humans in the Earth capital, in a first past the post election
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it's never been done before, it's a record, the Guinness World Records are doing card wheels
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and what's more, in the process, I have defeated Britain first. I think it has struck a blow for hope, for wonderment across the omnibus
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and I am over the moon and several planets about it. That's great to hear, and previous unsuccessful candidates have ended up in the House of Lords
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Are you hoping for a promotion to Lord Binface? It's interesting you say that because yes, the House of Lords could be renamed the House of Losers, given who's in there
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You're like, Baron Botham, Baron Beafy Botham of Ravensworth, Baroness Charlotte Owen of Inland Light Garden, it's insane
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Now, what I would do, given that I used to have a title of Lord Buckethead until that was a slight issue on the planet copyright
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now I would abolish all Lords immediately and replace it with a Galactic Senate
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And yes, I might give myself a seat. Why not? Fantastic. And finally, should we expect to see you cropping up at the general election later this year
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Well, you know, I come to earth on my holidays, so I need to make sure I can take a bit more time off
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from quelling insurrections in the Sigma Quadrant. But assuming I can, I do love a UK general election
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I do love taking on Tory Prime Ministers. We'll have to wait and see who is the Tory Prime Minister that week
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But it won't mean no. Let's just say, if Richmond North York, you know
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Yorkshire, fancy's a little bit of intergalactic spice. Let's have it. What do you think of the mayoral election? Let us know in the comments
