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Ms. Guidance- Episode 5 | How to Succeed in Jenny Without Really Trying
May 17, 2024
In the latest episode of Ms. Guidance: Jenny has turned over a new leaf, or at least thatʼs what she wants everyone to think. Pistol is conflicted by a nagging desire to cast Walker as the lead in The Seagull. Bethany uncovers a dirty secret and uses it to her advantage. And Porsche learns how to be good at being bad.
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0:00
Previously on misguidance
0:03
My Siegel is about the need to be relevant, the need to be heard
0:07
In today's society, these needs are almost epidemic. Walker could be a problem
0:13
But our story makes it look like an artist instead of an asshole. If the parents and school board buy this, then..
0:17
Jenny, you and Lillian's jobs are saved. Everything you say makes you look like a self-serving, self-driven actress
0:24
I am. You're supposed to serve the students, not yourself. I'm Timothy Beaver's
0:30
I teach art at Lock Hill The Fine Arts School I know what Lock Hill is
0:33
I'm Walker's manager Claudio I've erased his number from your phone if he contacts you
0:40
ignore him I need your help I have a petition I need signatures
0:44
I'll need something in return like what your access code to the student files
0:49
we can't formally bar you from being in a play miss bump
0:53
but pistol you can maybe it would be best for everyone if you sat this one out
1:02
I don't want to do this play. No, you got to do the play. You got to do the play
1:06
Hey, you got to do the play. Meet the new me. That looks like the old you
1:16
The Jenny Bump method. Tonight, career advice, and monologue tips, juniors and seniors only
1:23
Career advice? Do you think people can change? change. I think people can adapt
1:30
I've been thinking a lot about change lately. Hey, is that not tape? Oh, some dick keeps ripping them down
1:36
Hey, if you're free tonight, stop by. It would mean a lot to me
1:42
What would it mean? That you know I exist. It's been three weeks since the school board meeting
1:47
and no one is acknowledging that I'm finally doing my job. Okay, chill out. I'll be there
1:54
Really? Yes. You promise? Fine. Thank you for supporting my transformation. Yeah, okay
2:01
What now
2:15
I just got this for Walker Gate. Holy shit. She accidentally overpaid me
2:22
I think I'm gonna return it. Don't be stupid. This covers Julia on tuition and you could live on campus
2:27
You think I should keep it? Oh, I'm taking it. I'm the one who earned it
2:32
I'm really going to Julia. I've wanted this since I was three
2:38
Since you were three, really? Mom took me to my first Broadway show, and we walked past Juilliard
2:44
Oh my god, you were probably going there then. Have you heard anything about auditions for the sequel
2:50
They must be having them soon. It still keeps auditions private. What do you mean
2:54
Well, that's how it was with Highway Dollie. with Highway Dolly. I got a text
2:58
the morning of auditions. He doesn't like people to prepare. Who does he think he
3:02
is? Jesus? He is saving the American theater. Save it for Pistol
3:07
Tell all your friends about my workshop tonight. I want to have a full house. I bet most
3:12
people already have plans. Well, then change their plans. You ever have one of those dreams
3:18
where everything seems so real? I had one of those last night. It's really
3:25
bothering me. I don't dream. Walker was playing Tregoran. Were you naked? No
3:31
Yes, he was. Sounds like a nightmare. I think Walker is supposed to be in my play
3:39
You hate Walker. Well, I hate Walker the person, not Walker the actor
3:48
The character of Tregoran is... He's aloof, vacant. Those are two words that I would use to describe Walker's acting
3:58
You were so obvious, it's sad. What? You want to direct Walker so you can have power over him
4:03
That's your way to take back the career he stole from you. That's not like something Timothy would say
4:08
It's what Freud would say. Timothy would ask about a bigger penis. I do
4:16
So you don't think it's a good idea? I think it's a great idea
4:20
Every show needs a name. I just want you to be aware of why you're doing it. What's happening
4:28
You've changed so much I failed to recognize you. What do you want here, Nina
4:35
What does she want? She wants you to get out. I have the studio signed out
4:42
Are you allowed to smoke on campus? I have a doctor's note
4:46
So, I heard you can finally for Juilliard. Who told you that
4:50
Relax. It's not like you've gentle awards. You got into Juilliard. I told everyone when I got it
4:55
I remember. Do you think you're going to get summoned? One day, you're going to have to play a character who knows how to have fun and what are you going to do
5:11
Why do you care? Because I don't want my only friend in New York to be an Amish Barbie studies a lot
5:16
Your friend? Don't be so loud about it. Hey, do you want to come to Miss Bum's monologue workshop tonight
5:25
There are other ways to prepare. Like what? You can live your life
5:51
Claudio this is Bethany Bump theater Hello Yeah I here First of all we would like to extend our sincere apology for Walker Gate
6:05
And second of all? Second of all, I... Uh... I... Are you having a stroke
6:16
Uh, Claudio, this is Julian Pistol. Ola and Grazias. I'm the... Am I on speaker? No
6:27
Can you get to the point? Absolutely. We would like to officially offer Walker a role in our production of The Seagull
6:36
Oh, that's cute, but Walker just accepted a role in a show at the gallery theater in DC for the summer, so yeah, no
6:44
That is excellent news. Congrats. We should have dinner to celebrate. I don't think we eat what you do
6:50
You tell me what you want, we'll make it. How's tonight, 7.30
6:54
Okay, that's fine. And this should go without saying, but your boyfriend and Jenny can be there
6:59
There are major threats to workers' well-being. Well, at least we tried
7:04
Tried. You walked right into our trap. We have a trap. Thank you all for coming, everyone
7:12
I'd like to start with the monologue. What are you doing? Marketing
7:18
The Jenny Bump method. Method? Are those on my flyers? Some brat is going to die for this. It was me. You? Jenny, this is
7:26
exactly why I hired you. But you can't just throw up a couple of flyers and decide to have a
7:32
workshop. It has to be approved by me. Then approve it. It's not that easy. There's a whole form
7:38
that needs to be filled out. Important people are coming. It's not happening tonight, Jenny
7:43
Well, then what about tomorrow? I can send out a campus-wide email alert. You're really trying
7:48
are you? We'll meet this evening and go through it. It'll be fun. And make sure you recycle these
8:01
You can take your bag off. I like this miss too. You do? That's surprising. Why? What kind of music do? What kind of music do
8:18
think I'd like. Hmm. Hymns? Like, what's your favorite him if you had to choose
8:28
Amazing Grace. Oh my God. You have a favorite him. You really are a perfect angel
8:35
Yeah, but at least I don't sleep with a teddy bear. You've crawled so far at Mr. Pistel's ass
8:39
You're basically a tapeworm. And don't you like work a job or something? You're more
8:44
responsible than my parents. How'd you know I have a job? You did do a break
8:52
Oh, no, my mom would kill me. My mom's killed me like a thousand times
8:56
And I'm still alive. I have to be. What's this? You're gonna plan
9:06
This is just a copy of your flyer. Yeah, so fill out that form or whatever
9:13
What career advice are you going to give? How are you going to do the monologue tips
9:17
I need you to take me through it. step by step. Oh, my God
9:21
Are you aware that you work for me, young lady, and that you need me far more than I need you
9:27
Are you? Yes. I am still so angry with you, Jenny. You betrayed me, and you act like this is an inconvenience to you
9:35
I owe you nothing. You are entitled to nothing. Sorry. Sorry, Miss Barnes
9:43
Sorry, Miss Barnes. That's better. I canceled a date to do this
9:50
A date with who? None of your business. Show me your damn workshop
9:55
It better be good. Okay. How do you go from zero to hero
10:08
Hiro sake. I'm the face of Hiro-sake. This is supposed to be savored, guys
10:17
Claudia, will you help me with the dessert? No. I was hoping I could ask you some business questions
10:22
Nat is just starting out, and we could really, you know, use the advice of an expert. Oh
10:27
Yeah. Okay. So, la put on my. Hey, buddy
10:47
Yeah, are we? Claudia told me about your offer. He did. You know what role they offered me at the gallery theater
10:56
A surfer who wants to be a model. Ew. Yeah. It's a slight variation on the same idiot I play and everything
11:04
Walker, Trigoran isn't an idiot. Like, you really want me to play Trigoran. Why do you hate me
11:11
I don't hate... You think I'm a brain-dad Hollywood douchebag. And yeah, I might be a little bit self-obsessed
11:20
And yeah, I might have a tiny vocabulary. But I want to work with people who make me feel like I'm better than that
11:29
They may offer me shit roles at the gallery, but at least they treat me with a little bit of respect
11:37
There are five ways to make it in New York City. I thought there were a million
11:41
Whoever said that obviously never tried. I did. one, the instant fame miracle
11:48
This usually only happens if you the offspring of a celebrity couple But even then it a crapshoot I mean look at Rumor Willis Oh I loved her on dancing with a star She not a star Two spend your days in the equity building doing audition after audition This will only guarantee you a life in regional
12:06
theater, which is the fast food of the acting world. Three, sex
12:11
Jenny. Sex may seem like the easiest, but it's the diseasedest. Four, men applause
12:17
Men applause. The Viola Davis approach. Stoic, persistent, that eventually pays off after you're too old to have children
12:25
What's the fifth way? The Jenny bump method. Finally. What's your method
12:33
Read the New York Times. See who's directing plays. Friend them on Facebook
12:38
Find out what events they're attending. Go and bump into them. Give them your card and then start sending them updates on your life
12:45
If you don't have anything to share and make it up. Get a haircut. Get new headshots. That's worthy of an update
12:49
Send them Christmas cards. learn their kids' names. Forget talent. Forget art
12:54
If you want to succeed, you have to make these people believe that they have a relationship with you
13:00
Sandy, this is a little dark. We should invigorate the students, make them believe their dreams can come true
13:06
Like Mr. Palacius. Yes, Larry was good at that. The problem with making students feel special
13:12
is that they think the world is big enough for all their shitty talents. Only a few of the shitty succeed
13:17
The rest of us are left with memories of a future we never had
13:22
Mr. Palacius was a terrorist. I'm a realist. I refuse to believe talent doesn't matter
13:30
It does. But only if you get the role. Wait, wait, we need more sake
13:50
Just wait for a second, let me just... What are you doing? Shut up for a second
13:54
Let me talk. I have been jealous of you. Look me in the eyes
14:01
Yeah. Jenny got me expelled, and then you got Romeo, and you got discovered, and that part was fate
14:11
I can't hate you for that. But then you wasted your opportunity on a vapid role in a stupid sitcom, and that I can fault you for
14:20
You had talent, Walker, and you took the easy route. And that's why I want you in my play
14:25
so I can show the world what you should have been. Claudio
14:33
Claudio. Call the gallery theater and tell them that I'm spending my summer at Lock Hill
14:40
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Hey, I was just thinking. What's this
14:48
It's a prop. For what? Stuff that I use from my life
14:56
You never were very good at improv. Well, if it's a prop, then I can just rip it up. No, um... TMZ
15:05
This has something to do with Nat, doesn't it? Doesn't it? Well, then why is it made out
15:12
You will. So, congratulations in getting a major actor in your minor play
15:20
Thank you. So I'm curious, what kind of equity contract are you using
15:25
Showcase. Oh, you're serious. So you're going to pay him with play money
15:31
It's not about the money. Well, since Walker is forfeiting a salary, we would have to find ways to compensate him
15:38
Such as? Well, the usual, you know, name-up of the title. Approval of all actors
15:44
All Chris focused on a respected actor descendant to the gutters to help some old friends, you know
15:50
And of course, partial, if not full credit of direction and concept of the play
15:58
Is he serious? Yes. I do the business deals. So I can draw up a contract and we can sign you tomorrow
16:05
off. Pistol. Okay. So that's not good for you? Oh, pity, you'll get the sake
16:10
I'll call a car. Bye, bye. Walker. What about the monologue tips
16:17
What about them? I'm not going to let you teach our students to be. stalkers, but I can let you help them with their acting
16:24
Your talent does matter, Jenny, just maybe not in the way you thought it would
16:30
That's the thing nobody wants to hear. But most people do. Now, come on, I have a monologue I need no with
16:37
A monologue? Yes, where should I stand? What's your monologue from? The seagull
16:43
The seagull. Why the seagull? Because auditions are tomorrow. Pistol summoned me for Arcadena
16:49
The auditions are for tomorrow. Yes, Jenny, are you okay? Great. Um, before we begin, uh, Pistol lives near the school, right
17:01
You can't tell anyone. Duh. What about just one person? No, I don't want Mr. Pistols get in trouble
17:09
You finally do something cool. PANG for Juilliard by selling a video of our drunk guidance counselor, DMC
17:17
And you don't do anything fun with that. Come on. Be bad
17:26
What if Pistol has auditions tomorrow? auditions. Cheers
17:37
Oh. Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God oh my God Oh hey guys Thanks for inviting me
18:00
And that's a wrap. Okay. You asked Lillian to audition and not me
18:14
What the ? Who else are you going to ask? My dead mother? Bethany
18:18
She can't act. Have you asked the lunch? lady yet? I hear she's real good with classical texts. Did you summon Linda? Is that why Walker
18:28
was here? I sense a theme. Did Lillian hike up her skirt for you? Did she slip our headmistress a little bit of
18:37
your salami? What? I mean, we all know what Walker's willing to do to get apart. Why not everybody else
18:44
What is Walker willing to do? He let his manager suck him off after our final performance of Romeo and Juliet. I saw it
18:50
That's the one thing Jenny bump won't do for a part. What that in gain weight
18:55
What you said in the Nat video about Walker sleeping to the top is true? Yeah
18:59
It burned my adolescent eyes. Do you think Mr. Epistle sexy? Ew
19:08
Because I think he's sexy. Especially his ass. Oh, my God. I knew you were such a little horror
19:20
Wait, wait, wait, if you and Pistall had a baby, what would you name about
19:36
For a girl, Gretchen Marie, for a boy, Roman Eugene. And me, Mrs. Pilsall
19:45
I, aye, aye, aye, don'tito. I leave you alone five minutes, and you wreck everything
20:00
Hello. I know how you and Walker met. Excuse me. I know
20:10
I met Walker after a production of Romeo and Juliet at Lockhill
20:15
What drew you to him exactly? His talent, of course. What else
20:20
Are you sure it wasn't his childlike curiosity? Excuse me? Jenny told me she saw you backstage after the show, having relations
20:28
You have no proof. You don't need proof to start a rumor. At least London and Connollodge doesn't
20:36
What do you want? Did you know I had a big crush on you in high school
20:54
I don't blame you. My body was as tight as the skin of a baby seal
21:03
What are you doing tomorrow? From 10 to 12 I'm hating my life
21:09
From 12 to 1, hating my lunch. And then from 1 to 10
21:15
Probably wishing I was dead. Oh, big day. Do you have any time in there to come audition
21:22
You want me to audition? Yeah, I wanted to tell you last minute because I didn't want you to it up with it
21:27
I'm preparing me, but... Okay, I'm only asking you to audition. I'm not offering you a role
21:40
Don't wink. What about the monologue tips
23:09
What about them? I'm not going to let you teach our students to be stalkers
23:13
But I can let you help them. and let you help them with their acting. Your talent does matter, Jenny, just maybe not in the way you thought it would
23:22
That's the thing nobody wants to hear. But most people do. Now come on, I have a monologue. I need help with it
23:30
A monologue? Yes. Where should I stand? What's your monologue from? The seagull
23:35
The seagull. Why the seacle? Because auditions are tomorrow. Pistol summoned me for Akadena
23:41
The auditions are for tomorrow? Yes. Jenny, are you okay? Great! Um, before we begin, uh, Pistol lives near the school, right
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