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My Life as The Youngest Child In The House Full Episode 1 2 | My Story Animated
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0:01
dusk was setting in and everyone had gone home except for Johnny It was the
0:06
last place he wanted to be right now Instead he gazed at the stars that began
0:11
to emerge in the indigo twilight for their debut now that the sun was taking its exit from the stage leaving nothing
0:17
but a burnished glow on the horizon He clenched the chains of the swing as if it were a lifeline tilting his head back
0:24
further until he was looking directly up into the center of the universe where the blue had deepened to black and the
0:30
stars all peered at him like a tiny billion eyes They had come to watch the train wreck that became his life It
0:37
wasn't long before he heard footsteps approaching lightly trudging their way through the grassy lawn of Toro Park
0:44
towards his place on the swing He closed his eyes for a moment somewhat agitated
0:49
He recognized those steps anywhere It was amazing that someone with such a boisterous and obnoxious personality
0:56
could carry themselves so lightly across the earth as if they were raised among mice He knew the truth though It was the
1:03
rats that raised them Reopening his eyes but not taking them off the stars He listened to the footsteps transition
1:09
from grass to tan bark Crunching their way to take a place in the swing next to him The wine of chains screeched against
1:17
the weight of a body that bore itself on the seat groaning its last resistance as they settled in They sat so quietly that
1:24
Johnny almost believed a ghost had been messing with him "You're too quiet Kaye." He barked at his sister finally
1:31
unsettled by her silence It was not within her nature to keep her mouth shut for more than 5 minutes "What you mean
1:39
you want me to talk this time?" she retorted Johnny huffed more annoyed with
1:45
her now that she had a valid point and glanced at her Kayle's head hung low her
1:50
amber hair acting as a wispy curtain that covered her face and she seemed to be looking down at her hands clasped
1:56
neatly in her lap She was grinding her dirty sneakers into the tan bark burrowing her foot into the ground as if
2:02
it sought to hide from the truth of everything Then as if right on Q Kaye
2:08
blurted out the thoughts she seldom put through a filter or kept to herself I don't think Dad is coming back this time
2:15
Yeah how so johnny was indifferent to this revelation but decided to humor her
2:20
for once glancing back up at a sky obscured by the metal pipeline of the swing set It's been 2 weeks since he
2:27
left Normally he's gone for 5 days at most and even then he calls at least
2:33
once He would tell us if he won big at the slots or if he crapped out and was
2:39
coming home No matter what he would call This time it has been what 9 days since
2:46
we last heard from him Kaye had launched into her anxious tail spin of recounting
2:52
the last two weeks with a cadence like she was gossiping about the latest drama amongst her friends as if Johnny needed
2:58
the recap He sighed as she continued her tirade continuing to look up at the sky
3:04
There were more stars more bright eyes coming out to watch these children on
3:10
the swing Not to mention in his last phone call Dad said he found another girlfriend What was her name again holly
3:16
Hannah whatever it is he did that thing again where he swears that she's the one
3:21
and he's going to bring her home to be our new mom And it's different this time Johnny knew the tale all too well He and
3:28
his sister lived it many times Their father would bring home some bimbo he picked off the Vegas strip and demand
3:35
they call her mom Things would be hunky dory for 2 weeks at most until dad ran
3:40
out of money and mom would up and disappear Dad gets depressed drinks himself into oblivion talking about the
3:47
good old days Then decides he's going to get back to the strip to make his fortune We'll live like kings kiddo
3:53
You'll see He could hear his father's voice echoing in his mind The same thing
3:59
he always told Johnny as he stepped out the front door for the eenth time Like a rat on an exercise wheel the man was
4:06
running to the same place and going nowhere So what if he's found another girlfriend doesn't that mean he's coming
4:12
back soon you know when the cash piles up Detective Monk johnny asked his sister in a dismissive tone kicking
4:19
himself in a light swing the chain grinding in protest of motion Kaye stopped digging her foot and shot him a
4:26
look in the bleak lighting of nearby street lights flickering to life He could see that he hit a nerve No
4:33
Jonathan That's exactly my point She drew out his full name in retaliation
4:39
and he clenched his jaw He hated being named after the deadbeat that was supposed to be taking care of them
4:44
Before he could deliver a comeback Kaye looked away from him hearing her draw a shaky breath What if he has found the
4:52
one that makes him never come back her voice trembled in a way that made Johnny
4:57
angry at her his dad the stars everything So he snapped kicking himself
5:05
into a full swing now So what if that rat bastard never comes back it's the
5:11
best thing he ever did for us No more empty promises No more fake moms We'll
5:17
be free of him Johnny thought many times about what he would do if his dad never
5:22
returned home anticipating how to make ends meet He thought how he was old enough to get a worker's permit and
5:28
would have to quit school to get a job for both of them to get by He didn't feel bad about leaving high school It
5:34
sucked anyway All his friends had moved or getting ready for college which was never his scene to begin with Plus he
5:41
thought to himself I can always go back in a few years after Kaye graduates to
5:46
finish my degree With each pump of his legs the swing groaned its displeasure
5:51
with each attempt to catapult him into the universe Johnny looked at the stars drawing closer and then farther away as
5:59
he made himself a human pendulum He felt envious of those stars They mocked him
6:05
with their consistent indifference and the distance they held from the world's problems So on his next upswing he
6:13
shouted his truth to the heavens the one that had been building up for 2 weeks when his so-called father walked out the
6:20
door for the last time I'm glad he's gone Johnny fell back to the earth his
6:25
feet contacting the ground again He roughly skid himself to a violent halt with chunks of dirt and wood spraying
6:32
out beneath his heels panting heavily from his effort He snarled victoriously towards the night sky before giving way
6:39
to devastated size tears leaking from his eyes He resented that he had to
6:45
think about this stuff at 17 years old Rather than living up his last summer before senior year he instead had to
6:52
figure out how to put food on the table and keep the roof over his head I'm scared," Kaye whispered to him her voice
7:00
shaking and uncertain Johnny quickly wiped his eyes and turned to look at his younger sister Despite the warmth of the
7:07
night she trembled in the dark gripping her hands together so tight that her
7:12
white knuckles glowed against the darkness She was 2 months from her 13th birthday and already the weight of the
7:19
world was pushing heavy on her shoulders Johnny decided that although they shared the same name he did not have to share
7:26
the same fate that befell his father Me too He responded to her softly and then
7:32
stood from his seat letting the swing drift gently away from him Let's go home I'll make us some bacon mac He bribed
7:39
Kaye with her favorite meal offering a hand to help her up She hesitated momentarily before nodding and taking
7:46
his hand to walk the half mile back home The swings drifted gently in the empty air for a little while after they left
7:53
before finding their stillness Suspended in abandoned silence the stars blinking
7:59
and flickering continued to watch the world as they always did before disappearing within the blurry dawn of a
8:07
new day Hi my name is Zoe and this is the story of how I realized I was
8:12
turning into a vampire It started with the sun I used to love early morning walks but lately the sunlight burns Not
8:20
like ouch this is hot No I mean it feels like acid on my skin I told my mom and
8:28
she said it was probably just a vitamin deficiency But that didn't explain the other things like how I can hear people
8:35
whispering from across the school hallway or how I smelled blood during a science lab nearly fainted The worst
8:42
part my reflection has been acting weird I stood in front of my mirror one night
8:48
brushing my hair and for a split second my reflection blinked after I did I
8:54
swear I screamed My mom rushed in and I told her She said I was just stressed
9:01
but I'm not stupid Then it got worse We had this PE class where we had to run
9:07
laps A kid tripped and scraped his knee right in front of me The moment I smelled his blood I froze It was like
9:16
everything in me was screaming to bite to drink I ran away and locked myself in
9:21
the bathroom breathing hard shaking My teeth were aching And when I looked in
9:26
the mirror my canines were longer sharper I started googling stuff not
9:33
just allergies or hormones I typed "Am I turning into a vampire?" And guess what
9:38
popped up a forum hidden buried deep People who claimed they were in
9:44
transition People who said the cravings the light sensitivity the mirror glitches they were signs At first I
9:52
laughed It had to be a joke Until that night I cut my finger while chopping
9:58
onions I didn't even feel it I watched the blood drip onto the counter and without thinking I licked it and the
10:04
wound healed instantly I gasped dropped the knife I backed away and looked at my
10:11
hand That's when I saw her My mom standing in the doorway Not scared not
10:17
shocked just sad She said one thing I was hoping it would skip your generation
10:24
What does that even mean what am I turning into if you told me last week that my own mom had been hiding
10:30
something this massive from me my whole life I would have laughed in your face But she wasn't joking After she said "I
10:38
was hoping it would skip your generation," I just stood there frozen "What are you talking about?" I asked my
10:45
voice shaking She didn't answer Instead she walked to the kitchen drawer opened
10:51
the back panel and pulled out a tiny black box I had never seen it before She
10:56
placed it on the table and said "Sit down." Inside the box were old photos
11:02
yellowed cracked Some were so ancient I thought they were props from a movie But
11:07
then I looked closer One of them was her my mom Same face same eyes The photo was
11:14
dated 1,892 I couldn't breathe This isn't
11:19
possible I whispered She nodded slowly "It's time you know the truth Zoe You're
11:25
not fully human and neither am I." I wanted to laugh to scream to run out of
11:31
the room but a part of me already knew Everything that had been happening at all made sense now I asked her the
11:38
obvious question Are you saying we're vampires she shook her head Not exactly
11:45
We're what they call hybrids We don't drink blood to survive but when we turn
11:51
we crave it bad That's when I noticed something else She never stood directly
11:57
in sunlight She always wore gloves She never ate garlic I used to think she was
12:02
just quirky but it was all connected Then I asked her the real question Am I
12:08
turning she hesitated Then she said "Your transformation started 2 weeks ago
12:15
around your 17th birthday That's when it begins if the bloodline is strong enough
12:21
I felt sick So what happens now do I just grow fangs and bite people she
12:28
looked at me deadly serious Zoe you need to listen carefully If you bite someone
12:34
even once you can't go back You'll complete the transformation and it's irreversible I stood up This is insane
12:42
I'm not a monster She grabbed my hand gently You're not a monster but you are
12:48
dangerous and I've tried to protect you from this your whole life That night I couldn't sleep I locked my door stared
12:56
at the ceiling and whispered to myself "This can't be real." But it was because
13:02
at 3:12 a.m I woke up floating above my bed
13:08
Have you ever woken up and realized you're no longer you i floated above my bed paralyzed with fear My body wasn't
13:16
supposed to do this I wasn't dreaming I was wide awake Then as suddenly as it
13:22
started I dropped slammed onto my mattress with a thud I couldn't breathe
13:27
My heart was pounding I ran to the mirror My eyes they were glowing faint
13:34
red I splashed water on my face blinked they faded but the fear didn't The next
13:41
morning I tried to act normal go to school blend in But everything had changed I could hear people's hearts
13:48
beating Smell what they had for breakfast I passed a girl in the hallway who had a paper cut and it hit me like a
13:55
wave The smell of blood It was sweet It made my mouth water And then it happened
14:02
During gym class my crush Jace took off his hoodie He had a fresh bruise and a
14:07
little cut on his shoulder One drop of blood Just one I felt a sharp pain in my
14:13
gums My fangs were pushing through I ran locked myself in the locker room I was
14:19
shaking crying trying not to scream what was happening to me When I got home I
14:24
told my mom She just nodded like she already knew "You have to resist it,"
14:29
she said softly "But it's getting stronger," I cried "What if I lose control," she said "The cravings come in
14:36
waves." "If I can make it through the first month without biting anyone I'll learn to live with it But if you don't,"
14:42
she added "you'll become one of them." fully turned No going back I went to my
14:47
room locked the door and cried into my pillow That night I had a dream At least
14:54
I thought it was a dream I was walking through the woods barefoot Everything was dark misty I saw Jay standing near a
15:02
tree He smiled I walked up to him reached out and bit his neck He didn't
15:09
scream He didn't even flinch He just looked into my eyes and said "I'm yours
15:15
now." I woke up gasping My pillow was soaked with sweat My hands were
15:20
trembling And then my phone buzzed A message from Jace Hey did something
15:26
happen last night i had this weird dream and I woke up with these marks on my neck No no no no no no What have I done
15:33
i stared at the words on my mirror You're not the first written in
15:39
something that looked like blood I wiped it Nothing came off I blinked and it
15:46
vanished like it had never been there Was I going crazy or was something or
15:51
someone trying to send me a message the next morning my mom finally spoke You
15:56
need to know the rules she said Her voice was cold Because breaking them has
16:03
consequences She opened an old wooden chest from the attic Inside were scrolls
16:08
tattered books old coins dried herbs and a ring carved with a strange crest These
16:14
she said are the vampire rules They've been in place for centuries and you've already broken three I swallowed hard
16:22
What rules she held up three fingers Rule one never enter a home without
16:28
invitation Apparently crossing that boundary uninvited gives off a supernatural alarm Commonly other
16:34
vampires can hear it I gasped I had done that I went to Jayce's house last week
16:40
climbed through his window during a party she continued Rule two never feed without consent If you bite someone
16:46
without their will they become bound to you forever Bound wait what does that
16:54
mean it means she said quietly Jace might already feel connected to you You
17:02
marked him I shook my head That's not what I wanted It doesn't matter she replied Intent doesn't stop the bond And
17:09
then the third rule Rule three Never fall in love with a human I stared at her That's not a rule I scoffed That's
17:17
just control It's survival She snapped Love clouds judgment Love makes us weak
17:25
And when vampires fall in love with mortals people get hurt die My hands
17:30
were shaking because she was right I did like Jace But I didn't ask for this I
17:35
never asked to be part of this world That night I had another dream Or maybe
17:40
it was a memory A girl pale red eyes standing in fire screaming "Don't trust
17:47
them Not even your own kind." And in her hand the same ring my mom had shown me earlier I woke up gasping And on my desk
17:56
was that ring I never touched it I never took it but it was there glowing faintly
18:03
And inside the band carved in blood red letters were the words "The queen shall rise." I couldn't stop staring at the
18:10
ring "The queen shall rise." What did that even mean me a queen i was just a
18:17
high school girl with a blood problem and a crush But that day everything spiraled At school I avoided Jace like
18:24
the plague I didn't trust myself I didn't know what was happening to him but then he cornered me by the lockers
18:31
Zoe something's wrong with me His voice was shaking His skin was pale His pupils
18:39
dilated I haven't slept in two nights Every time I close my eyes I see you And
18:44
two smell things Things I shouldn't It's like I'm not myself anymore I wanted to
18:51
tell him the truth I almost did But before I could speak he leaned in and
18:56
whispered "What did you do to me?" My stomach dropped That night I confronted
19:02
my mom again "You said biting someone makes them bound but what if it goes further what if I'm turning him?" Her
19:09
silence told me everything "Tell me Mom Am I creating another vampire?" She looked away If the bond is deep enough
19:17
she said quietly Your blood can begin the process especially if the other person has the dormant
19:25
gene Jean i blinked You mean he was
19:30
always meant to be one of us it runs through certain families she said Some are sleepers It takes a trigger like you
19:38
I couldn't breathe You have to reverse it I begged Tell me how But she shook her head You can't reverse a bond You
19:46
can only complete it or break it What happens if I break it she hesitated If
19:52
he's already changing it could kill him Tears filled my eyes This was my fault
19:59
The next day Jace didn't come to school I called him No answer I went to his
20:04
house His mom said he was sick locked in his room for 2 days burning up
20:10
hallucinating She begged me to talk to him You're the only person he keeps asking for So I went in and the moment
20:17
our eyes met he calmed down His fever dropped his breathing steadied He
20:23
reached out and grabbed my hand Zoe I don't know what's happening but I think I need you And I whispered "I think I
20:31
need you too." But just as I leaned closer something growled from deep within him His eyes snapped open glowing
20:39
red He lunged at me Jace lunged at me not like a guy leaning in for a kiss
20:44
like a creature His eyes were glowing His teeth fangs were out I barely dodged
20:50
in time He slammed into the wall behind me cracking the plaster Jace I screamed Stop But he
20:57
didn't seem to hear me His hands were twitching claws breaking through his fingertips He wasn't Jace anymore He was
21:04
becoming something else Then suddenly he froze Eyes locked on mine And just like
21:10
that he collapsed right at my feet unconscious I ran I ran until my lungs
21:16
burned Until I couldn't hear my own heartbeat anymore That night I sat
21:22
shaking on my bedroom floor This wasn't just about me anymore I'd started
21:27
something and I had no clue how to stop it But I wasn't alone for long At midnight someone knocked on my window I
21:34
opened the curtain sand There she was A girl maybe 19 silver hair pale skin
21:41
black lipstick wearing a blood red cloak "Hi Zoe," she said casually "Nice ring,"
21:47
I backed away "Who are you?" She climbed in through the window like it was her house "I'm Lra I'm like you but stronger
21:56
faster older What do you want?" She smiled "To help." But before I could
22:01
respond she lunged I barely had time to react Instinct kicked in I grabbed a metal lamp and swung it at her head She
22:09
dodged easily laughing Not bad for a newbie She moved like a blur I ducked
22:15
rolled kicked and my foot connected with her stomach sending her across the room She looked up impressed You're more
22:23
powerful than I thought We fought I don't even know how long Furniture
22:28
shattered My dresser caught fire But something inside me awakened For the
22:33
first time I wasn't scared I was angry and I was strong I pinned her down my
22:39
hand around her throat fangs out But she just smiled "You're almost ready," she whispered "You feel it don't you the
22:47
throne the blood the crown," I backed off panting "What are you talking about?" She wiped blood from her lip
22:54
"You don't know?" "Of course you don't Your mommy kept secrets." She vanished
22:59
in a swirl of smoke And when I looked down there was a note where she'd been "You're not just a vampire Zoe You're
23:07
royalty." Royalty That word echoed in my head for days I tried to ignore it
23:14
pretend it didn't mean anything but deep down I knew it wasn't a lie So I did
23:19
what I never thought I'd do I broke into my mom's locked file cabinet Inside
23:25
paperwork photos birth certificates and one document that stopped my heart My
23:30
birth record with my father's name blacked out Why would she hide that i
23:36
found an old photograph tucked in the folder Two people my mom looking exactly
23:42
the same as now been a man Tall shadowed
23:47
piercing silver eyes written on the back Adrien Vale
23:53
1,877 Do not trust him My real dad I confronted her that night You lied to me
24:00
He's alive She turned pale Zoe you have no idea what you're walking into I don't
24:07
care I deserve to know who I am Her voice broke Your father is dangerous
24:12
He's been locked away for decades by the Vampire Council I stared Why because
24:18
he's not just royalty He's the last of the Pure Bloods and he nearly destroyed
24:23
everything I didn't sleep that night Instead I followed a name I found scribbled in the corner of the photo
24:29
Black Hollow Prison It wasn't a normal prison It was hidden underground wrapped
24:35
in protection spells But I made it there And when I walked into the lowest chamber through a door sealed in blood I
24:42
saw him Adrien Vale sitting in the dark shackled barely breathing But when he
24:49
looked up his eyes met mine Silver just like mine "You've grown," he said his
24:57
voice a whisper "You have her fire and my darkness." I stepped closer "Are you
25:04
my father?" he nodded slowly and you are my heir He reached through
25:11
the bars and placed a hand on mine And in that moment I saw everything Wars
25:17
thrones betrayals the council tearing him down My mother helping them lock him away They feared our bloodline he said
25:25
They still do But you Zoe you were born to rule and they can't stop what's
25:30
coming I pulled away No I whispered I'm not like you He smiled You will be I ran
25:39
from Black Hollow Prison but my father's words ran with me You were born to rule
25:45
I didn't want that I didn't ask for this life I just wanted to go to school text
25:51
my friends maybe kiss my crush not lead a bloodline But destiny doesn't care
25:57
what you want The moment I stepped through my front door they were waiting Five strangers in long black coats stood
26:04
in our living room faces cold eyes older than time My mom stood frozen hands
26:11
clenched like she already knew this was coming Zoe Veil one of them said "You
26:16
are summoned by the vampire council." Before I could protest they surrounded me Shadows swirled and I was gone We
26:24
arrived in a massive underground chamber Torches lining black marble walls Symbols I couldn't read burned across
26:30
the floor This was the council stronghold An ancient woman stood at the
26:36
center her voice like smoke You carry royal blood the daughter of Adrien Vale
26:42
the last living hybrid born of two bloodlines I stayed silent My heart was
26:48
thuting You are unstable Another councilman growled You've broken sacred laws bitten without
26:56
consent invaded human homes engaged romantically with a mortal They surrounded me like vultures circling
27:02
prey She didn't choose this My mom snapped from behind But they ignored her
27:08
Zoe Vale the lead council woman declared You have two choices Join us and accept
27:14
your role as heir or be erased from memory and return to a mortal life
27:19
Erased you mean wipe who I am i asked
27:24
trembling No more powers no more memories just another human girl I
27:30
looked at my mom Her eyes were pleading Zoe it's safer You could live a normal
27:35
life But I also saw Jace in my mind My father in that prison LRA's bloodied
27:41
smile I had a choice I want answers I said "Real ones No more lies If I'm
27:47
going to be part of this world I want to understand it fully." the council whispered among themselves Then the
27:53
leader nodded Very well but be warned Once you know you can never unknow Once
28:00
you lead you can never be free again And with that she drew a dagger Silver
28:05
ancient hand pressed it to my palm Blood binds Truth awakens She sliced And as my
28:12
blood hit the council's altar the flames turned black Symbols lit up across the
28:18
walls A hidden door groaned open and behind it a throne made of bone dripping
28:26
with history and glowing faintly like it already knew me The moment my blood touched the altar everything changed The
28:33
walls trembled The torches flickered black and the throne ancient jagged wrapped in bone and shadow slit up like
28:39
it had been waiting for me The council fell silent Even they looked afraid
28:45
You've awakened the blood throne," the high council woman whispered "It hasn't responded in centuries." I took a step
28:52
toward it My fingers grazed the cold armory stand I felt it History pain thousands of voices
29:00
screaming whispering remembering I stumbled back "I don't want this," I
29:05
said "I didn't choose to be born into this." But the throne pulsed with energy and in my mind I heard one clear voice
29:14
Then rise Choose who you become I turned to the council No more secrets No more
29:20
control I'll join you but on my terms One of the elders growled You think you
29:25
can bargain with us child i'm not a child I said my voice steady I'm your
29:31
queen A blast of force erupted from me The room shook The walls cracked One of
29:36
the council members fell to his knees Even my mother stepped back You've already ascended she whispered I didn't
29:44
understand fully but I felt it I wasn't changing anymore I was complete The
29:50
throne accepted me My blood had chosen That night I returned home The moon felt
29:56
different like it bowed when I passed Shadows whispered but they no longer scared me Jace was waiting outside my
30:03
window His eyes still glowed faintly but he looked human "Hey," he said "I feel
30:10
better," I nodded I've stabilized You're connected to me so you're stabilizing
30:16
too He smiled That's terrifying but kind of hot We laughed For once it felt real
30:24
But just as I started to relax a raven landed on my window sill Its eyes were
30:29
silver It opened its mouth and spoke The war has begun They're coming for the
30:35
throne And just like that my reign had started But so had the war is white and
30:41
pure as snow and I watched them float around me as graceful as fairies A twig
30:46
cracked behind me and there he was He had pulled his baseball cap over his eyes so I couldn't see his expression He
30:54
sat next to me rubbing his large hands together He was still wearing the ring I bought for him all those years ago on
31:00
the middle finger of his left hand Sorry guys I wandered off for a bit too long
31:05
Francis had the deepest voice in any mail I'd ever heard I remembered when I used to find it attractive Over the
31:12
years it's morphed to me finding it intimidating All good Clark responded
31:17
putting an arm over Sammmy shoulders None of us here can sleep Apparently we
31:22
used to be amazing friends all of us I got accepted into Northchester University in 2003 I had big dreams of
31:30
becoming a lawyer just like my grandfather I met Clark and Francis and him in one of my first year classes
31:36
Clark was studying to be a lawyer like me And Francis was studying biology He wanted to be a doctor And he oh man big
31:45
dreams as well that were doomed to never come true Big dreams that died just as tragically as him He was studying
31:51
biology with Francis He wanted to be a medical scientist He wanted to help
31:56
people to cure them And after his mother died of breast cancer he studied all the harder Maybe one day I can help find a
32:04
cure I remember him saying to me after her funeral he was so angry that a
32:09
disease had taken his mother's life A disease of all things he had said something that has the potential to be
32:15
cured but for some damn reason can't be His funeral was 7 months and 8 and 1/2
32:20
days after his mother's I suddenly felt cold I wished I could leap into the flames and bathe my body in their deep
32:27
orange light I wanted to roll around in the ashes I wanted them to stick to me to make me a new skin I introduced Sammy
32:34
to Clark Francis and him one night at some frat party I can barely remember Sammy is my oldest friend We went to
32:40
junior high together She was always prettier than I with her curly strawberry blonde hair and bright smile
32:46
Sammmyy's always been a free spirit someone who rarely ever worried She took his death better than any of us did
32:52
"He's in a better place now guys," she had said after the funeral "God had a plan for him and he's taken care of now
32:59
Does anybody want marshmallows?" Sammy said in an attempt to get rid of the awkward silence Clark and I bought a
33:05
bunch I'm good I said I already felt sick to my stomach I looked over at
33:10
Francis who nodded Sammy grabbed her backpack and passed Francis a plastic bag of marshmallows Francis placed one
33:17
over a fork and held it over the flames My left eye started to twitch the way it did when I was quitting smoking The
33:24
cravings would get so bad It's crazy to consider how deeply I was in love with Francis before it happened He was my
33:31
first boyfriend my first love I spent my first few months of university imagining what it would be like to run my fingers
33:37
through his dark curls to lay my head on his chest and feel his heartbeat to look into his deep blue eyes and see the
33:44
reflection of my own When he asked me out after that party the one where I introduced Sammy to everyone I was
33:50
shocked He was way out of my league and he came from a fabulously wealthy family whereas I came from pretty much nothing
33:57
But he saw something in me Sammy yawned stretching out her legs She smiled at me
34:03
across the fire There once was a time when Sammy could look at me and know exactly what I was thinking Now I look
34:09
at her and see a stranger She looked so different She had a pixie cut to her
34:14
long strawberry blonde hair that used to graze her waist Her arms had tattoos I had never seen before One with the date
34:21
7184 on her wrist next to a heart I haven't spoken to her really spoken to
34:26
her in years She hasn't even seen the inside of my apartment None of them have Did they even know where I lived that I
34:33
moved to the big city last year Doubtful Guys I'm getting tired she said getting
34:39
up from her seat on the ground Me and Clark got to hit the road early tomorrow morning so I'm going to try and get some
34:45
shutye I watched her turn her back on the flames and walked towards her tent
34:50
Wait I blurted out Sammy paused in her tracks and turned around to face me Huh
34:57
i just I couldn't figure out what to say Right next to me Francis was staring at
35:03
me intently His death had made big news Northchester student mysterious death
35:09
His extended family flew from across the country I remember being surrounded by a labyrinth of people who all looked just
35:15
like him Faces and faces that all had the same mouths same noses same laugh
35:22
same twinkle in their eyes Clark was the most devastated out of all of us They were distant cousins but grew up
35:28
together They were like brothers He had died in a fire That night we were all having a sleepover at one of Francis's
35:35
family lakeous It was a log cabin A fire started mysteriously in the house All of
35:41
us were able to get out save for a few burns here and there and some lung damage from the smoke but he somehow
35:47
didn't I barely remember anything from that night I had been questioned by a policeman who uncannily resembled my
35:54
father and crying because I couldn't remember a damn thing I kept thinking about how it felt to breathe in there It
36:00
felt like there was an animal in my chest and every time I inhaled it clawed at me viciously from the inside out I
36:07
had looked down at my arms at the burns that looked as delicate and as beautiful as frost on a winter's window on my skin
36:14
I had to ask the policeman how they got there He had laughed at me There was a
36:19
big investigation His family was kind of a big deal with his dad being the retired mayor of the city and all that I
36:26
remember sitting with everyone in the apartment Sammy was renting at the time Her stoner roommate listening in from
36:31
the next room as if it was all some hot gossip Why are they investigating this it was obviously an accident One of us
36:38
could go to jail for this What jail no way None of us did this It was an
36:45
accident An accident an accident I still see the paramedics pulling his charred
36:50
body out of the house on a gurnie when I close my eyes It's been 5 years and I still see it," I said to everyone The
36:58
only sound there was besides my voice was the crackling and popping of the campfire I was never religious but I was
37:04
always adamant that it looked as if his body had been yanked up from hell His face his torso his arms his legs had all
37:12
been chewed and spat out by the fire I couldn't recognize his face It looked sunken in and charred black His feathery
37:19
blonde hair had all been burnt away It was so odd to see his body bald He had always taken such great care of his hair
37:25
I used to tease him that he cared more about his hair than any girl I'd ever met And then it was gone "We all agreed
37:31
not to talk about this," Clark said his voice shaking "We agreed." "How can I
37:36
not?" I said exasperated "I no," Clark cut me off "No we're not doing this Not
37:44
now." Then when I wanted to scream it's been 5 years and we've never talked
37:50
about it about any of it The police had found evidence that the fire had been a homicide They were convinced that one of
37:58
us had intentionally started a fire intended to kill each of us Francis had an arson charge from when he was 15 He
38:04
had set his stepfather's Ferrari on fire out of anger There was evidence he started another fire too Clark and his
38:11
family went after Francis with a searing vengeance They hired the best lawyers
38:16
They wanted Francis in jail for 14 years They were convinced Francis killed him
38:21
Francis and I were dating at that time I stopped touching him He and I felt so cold I couldn't bear to be around him We
38:30
broke up around a week before the trial "Just calm down," Sammy said calmly holding out her palms to me like stop
38:36
signs After the trial we agreed to not bring it up again Remember we all wanted to put it past us Well I can't anymore I
38:45
felt hot tears boiling in my eyes I can't We need to talk about it
38:50
Ultimately after months of court Francis was acquitted But our once tight-knit
38:56
friend group fell apart We went from seeing each other every day to none at all He was the glue for our friend group
39:03
He was always the one who made the plans who called us who made the effort After he was gone it was as if we all had
39:10
nothing in common anymore I didn't kill him Francis said quietly Clark moaned
39:15
and put his head in his hands We never said Sammy started Right Francis laughed
39:21
coldly You never said I did But you all treated me like a murderer None of you
39:26
could look me in the eyes ever again You never said I killed him But damn it you never needed to say anything We were so
39:33
young and so scared Sammy had twin tears running down her flushed cheeks We didn't know who to believe We had you
39:40
telling us one thing and the police and our parents telling us another You were scared francis said "You were scared
39:47
imagine how I felt My life was falling apart Benjamin died that day and so did
39:53
I Everything in me died My happiness my life my future Nothing is left in me
39:59
Don't compare yourself to him Don't you dare." Clark lifted his face from his hands He died that night at just 19
40:07
You're still here I'm barely here," Francis finally shouted After he died and you all left me I turned to drugs
40:14
You all knew that I was hooked on heroin at 19 And none of you bastards even checked on me I never even got a call
40:21
from any of you I knew he was directing that statement at me specifically I turned my head away from Francis in
40:27
shame He's been dead for 5 years Clark said his voice barely heard above the flames He's been dead for that long and
40:34
I miss him every day I I feel like I see him sometimes He visits me in my dreams
40:41
I can barely sleep I see him too Sammy sniffled It's horrible I still can smell
40:48
it Oh god the burnt skin The flames began to rise higher My vision began to
40:54
blur That night I had been smoking We were all drunk I had taken a puff of my
41:00
cigarette and flicked it on the sofa Why couldn't I remember that why am I remembering it now i tried to rise to my
41:08
feet but I was so dizzy that I felt like vomiting I had walked away from the sofa to sleep next to Francis in one of the
41:15
only two bedrooms Sammy and Clark shared a bed too Yes I remember us teasing them
41:20
about that before they fell asleep Ben fell asleep on the floor in a sleeping bag because the sofa had dog fur on it
41:26
from last summer And Ben is highly allergic He was right next to the sofa But it couldn't have been me The flames
41:34
were so high I remember Francis yanking open the bedroom window I remember gasping and coughing for air I remember
41:41
feeling the heat on my skin like somebody was grabbing me and pulling me in towards the flames so that I could
41:47
never escape Francis had shoved me through the window And yes he jumped in after me I remember falling and hitting
41:54
the ground on my back I had tried to scream as I was falling but I had no voice Sitting in front of the campfire I
42:01
began to cough again a howling deep cough just like that night I began
42:07
gasping for air "Whoa are you okay?" Sammy said walking towards me "Just calm
42:14
down Take some deep breaths." "It's okay." We had taken the batteries out of the smoke alarm because it kept going
42:20
off unnecessarily anytime any of us lit a cigarette I was a chain smoker back then so the alarm was going off every
42:26
minute It annoyed all of us so we all agreed to take the batteries out Who knew a fire could be so quiet was it
42:33
tiptoeing around the house like a monster holding its breath there is no way the fire was my fault A single
42:39
cigarette couldn't cause the destruction that happened that night There is no way It's impossible I looked at the campfire
42:46
again The flames were swaying back and forth They seemed so tempting so warm I
42:52
rubbed my eyes and stopped coughing Ben was taken by the flames But I won't be I
42:58
smiled at my friends Sorry guys I must have inhaled some smoke What were we
43:03
talking about again it's like flying she said as I peered down at the two dead bodies
43:09
laying on the ground below me I was one of the four who decided to jump instead The unlucky four who didn't
43:18
escape You're asking me to jump off a building together i ask No you
43:25
go first What does that mean is she really going to chicken out she was the
43:30
one who so readily agreed to the idea What you go first No Why what do you
43:36
mean why i can feel the anger inside of me boiling up to the lid like Rice does when you forget about it She so
43:43
willingly wanted to jump when I didn't Now she refuses You want me to jump off a building you want me to end my own
43:50
life i can now feel tears pooling in my eyes as I realize what the last sentence meant Just plea No i scream finally
43:59
losing my cool "You piece of i don't want to jump first For sake
44:04
I don't want to jump at all." At this point I'm sobbing a full fit like a 2-year-old I crumble to the ground and
44:12
hide my face in my hands Gunshots ring under me in the building on which I sit I now realize we were not the only
44:18
unlucky four who didn't escape That's why we came up here in the first place to die peacefully or as peacefully as we
44:27
could I sit on the concrete balling until my head is throbbing with pain I
44:32
realize Kelsey the poor girl I just screamed at doesn't feel any different than I do My conscience punishes me by
44:38
bombarding my mind with scoldings from all different corners of my head She didn't deserve that We're all losing our
44:44
Don't blame her You're so selfish What is wrong with you you deserve to be
44:50
laying down there with the others I pull myself together enough to stand up and apologize I'm sorry I truly am You
44:58
didn't deserve that I say while wiping the tears and snot onto my navy blue sleeve I finally turned my head up to
45:04
look her in the eye But I am met with nothing but with a blue sky filled with clouds Kelsey's not there Through my
45:13
tantrum I didn't hear the clap of her body hitting the black top parking lot that lay three stories below me She was
45:19
dead I was the only one left My head is spinning My legs feel numb like they do
45:25
after getting off a roller coaster Finally after standing in the same spot for what feels like an eternity my mind
45:31
switches to what you could call flight mode I sprint over to the giant vent and rip the grate off I squeeze in the best
45:37
I can and replace the grate Completely unconscious of what I'm doing Tears are streaming down my face as I pull myself
45:43
further and further back into the worring metal box The sound of gunshots echo in my ears That moment from no
45:49
longer than 45 minutes ago plays on repeat in my head Kids scurrying through the hallways with looks of terror on
45:56
their faces The moment when we all realized this was it This was the end of our lives Everything ended in the
46:03
hallways of a shitty high school Not me I survived My eyes flutter open I fell
46:09
asleep I take a breath letting the cool air of a Michigan night fill my lungs I
46:15
can hear the chatter of people not far off I take the vent cover off and wiggle my way out my entire body cracking as I
46:22
sit up on the cold concrete I sit there for who knows how long listening to the chattering people They're talking about
46:28
something terrible 42 were killed Four are missing They're all dead I stand up
46:35
and walk over to the edge of the roof where I can hear the people and look down The people go quiet and look back
46:41
at me Suddenly the group breaks apart Some heading towards their red and blue flashing cars while others rush into the
46:48
school About 30 seconds later I hear thump thump thump thump People running
46:53
up a staircase Then the door to the roof bursts open Hey keep your hands where I
46:58
can see them A man yells I assume at me however I don't move at all I can't I'm
47:04
too exhausted Three other men follow him through the door and start to surround me with their guns pointed at the ground
47:10
I look up at them and they relax seeing I have nothing but my ripped zip-up hoodie Two of the men put their guns in
47:17
their holsters and start to move in closer No no no no no no no no
47:27
Unintentionally I jump back away from the men pulling my sweatshirt tight around my waist It's all right We're
47:34
here to help says the man who first came barreling through the door I quickly take another step back not letting him
47:40
get any closer I promise you we are here to help says the man again He extends his hand towards me so I can take it I
47:47
look at it and my lungs start to feel like they're shrinking They feel so small I can barely breathe I sit down
47:54
gasping for air when suddenly my hand is in someone else's Hey hey hey deep
47:59
breaths deep breaths Ready watch me I don't look up Instead I stare at a tiny
48:06
piece of rock embedded in the concrete He starts taking exaggerated breaths in through his nose and out through his
48:11
mouth just like every yoga instructor I've ever met The sound of my heart in my ears is fading My breathing is
48:19
slowing down All the men have left leaving just the first man and me Better
48:25
says the man I nod still refusing to look at him Can I ask what your name is
48:30
i take a deep breath and answer him trying my best not to let my voice crack
48:35
Piper I say quietly Hi Piper I'm Cedar How old are you 15 What grade are you in
48:43
10th 10th grade Very good Piper are you hurt anywhere i think I hurt my ankle I
48:51
hadn't even noticed As we continue to talk my confidence builds little by little Are you able to walk i think so
48:59
Great If you can I would like to ask you to come down to the parking lot with me We want to ask you some questions Who's
49:06
we the police Your school was attacked today and we're trying to figure out why it happened Ask me why it happened Jesus
49:15
Christ What the hell is wrong with these people what happened was another high school in America got screwed over again
49:22
But first do you have a family mom dad grandma grandpa anyone who you feel
49:28
comfortable contacting no one No I wonder where mom is right
49:34
now If she would have given a if her only kid died You idiot Of course
49:40
she wouldn't have She left me Left me to figure out my life on my own A
49:45
15-year-old to fend for herself Okay then You're going to stick with us until we can figure something out for you All
49:51
right All right says Cedar leading the way to the rooftop store Instead of following I stand in one place with my
49:59
feet glued to the ground Why didn't I die why did I survive the person who has
50:04
nothing to live for is living So many people died People with a life People
50:10
who had someone who cared about them I robbed them of that I don't deserve to live I refuse I burst into tears Cedar
50:18
turns back around I look at him and he seems to know what I'm thinking He starts running toward me but is too slow
50:24
I reach the edge of the building and turn around He stops and looks me dead in the eye Piper stop Please Piper don't
50:32
do anything He speaks to his chest requesting backup but it won't help him Look away Please I ask for his sake He
50:40
lunges at me but it's too late I fall back I always did want to
50:45
fly By the time the fisherman finds me I will have been dead for 33 hours 6
50:51
minutes and 29 seconds 18 hours since the police declared me missing 15 hours
50:56
since Zoe told my biology teacher that my tent was empty that I hadn't returned from the party we'd snuck out to the
51:02
night before Careful quiet every twig a possible snitch It was exhilarating our
51:09
hearts pounding the smell of pine and seaweed thick in the air and the moon a
51:14
perfectly curved sickle Zoe held my sweaty hand and didn't let go until we passed the tents and joined the others
51:20
by the lake The music on someone's phone was turned down just low enough for us to make out Billy Eyish's raspy voice
51:27
One of the guys offered us a beer kept cool in the pitch black lurking water I
51:32
remember thinking I couldn't tell where the lake ended and the forest began The first article published by a local
51:37
newspaper reads "Promising high school student missing after night swim in lake." Shortly after the water rescue
51:44
service and fire brigade take over the search Dogs comb the area their noses trailing through the damp earth A human
51:51
chain forms People moving slowly through the woods Eyes scanning for any sign of
51:56
me Even a helicopter hovers overhead its worring blades slicing through the heavy charged air The search drags on for
52:04
hours stretching into the twilight yet the woods remains silent The police begin to ask questions When was she last
52:11
seen what was she wearing had she been drinking did she seem out of character
52:17
angry sad suicidal no no and no She was singing She was dancing She seemed happy
52:25
When the fisherman finds my body miles away from where I was last seen certainty sets in The autopsy reveals a
52:32
hematoma on my head and purple spots behind my ears Coroners examine the water in my lungs and confirm that I
52:38
wasn't dead before entering the water I died by drowning My classmates are questioned again Zoe claims to have left
52:45
early while I stayed behind with her twin brother Tom who has been in love with me since middle school Tom's
52:51
behavior strikes the police as odd He insists he barely spoke to me despite people seeing us leave the party
52:57
together for a few minutes When my body is examined traces of Tom's skin are found on my clothes trapped between the
53:04
fabric layers Still Tom sticks to his story Perhaps because the truth would
53:09
embarrass him for some reason Or maybe he's just afraid of the questions that would follow and the scrutiny that might
53:15
come with them Tom is right you know in the broadest sense We really only exchanged three or four sentences that
53:21
night but only because Tom's mouth was otherwise occupied with me I had enjoyed every second of it and looking back I
53:28
wish I'd given him a real chance But I was too worried about what other people might think So as usual I brushed him
53:35
off leaving him to walk away from the party feeling hurt Cassandra insists she heard Zoe and me arguing that night just
53:42
before Zoe headed back to the campsite According to her we were fighting over Tom Of course she would say that What
53:49
else would two girls argue about if not a boy cassandra even claims that Zoe pushed me though Zoe denies it
53:55
vehemently She denies discussing Tom at all insisting it was about something else something that wouldn't come to
54:02
light until much later when our biology teacher became a suspect But Cassandra holds firm to Herune The thing about
54:08
Cassandra is that she's always been a shadow The kind of girl whose name teachers forget after two weeks of
54:14
spring break Kelly Cindy Carrie something with a C though right so when
54:22
she finally gets the chance to talk to the police and be part of the investigation she jumps at it
54:28
Unfortunately Cassandra isn't much help to the investigators She leaves the party at 2:00 a.m just 40 minutes before
54:34
I die leaving me alone with a group of guys who've brought along some tranquilizers Sitting next to them felt
54:40
like being stuck in a fever dream where Jacqu Dereda explains quantum physics at a frat party At some point I decided it
54:47
was time to head back One of the guys casually asked if I needed someone to walk with me and I said yes but no one
54:54
moved I glanced back the campsite faintly visible through the cold white light filtering through the pines It was
55:01
only a few meters away just beyond the trees I'd walked this path for days
55:06
never once feeling threatened by the shadows in the bushes But tonight that sinking feeling in my stomach wouldn't
55:12
go away Still I refused to be that girl the one who got scared at every creek in
55:17
the dark the one who needed someone to hold her hand for a few steps So I stood up and said I'd walk alone Instead of
55:24
sticking to the dark trail though I decided to take a small detour along the riverbank a bit longer a bit lighter and
55:31
hopefully a bit safer One of the guys told me to text him when I made it to my tent but when I didn't no one even
55:38
noticed 16 days after my death suspicion begins to shift toward our biology
55:43
teacher Devon one of my classmates reveals that he had felt ill that night
55:48
and went looking for the teacher's tent only to find it empty Soon after the teacher's behavior takes a strange turn
55:56
He starts making inconsistent statements that don't add up One day he calls Zoe into his office after class where he
56:04
insists that his earlier proposal to her before the trip had been nothing but a
56:09
joke She understood that right it was sarcasm he says claiming that what he
56:14
really meant was that if she wanted to improve her grades she should consider attending a tutoring service And this is
56:20
where Cassandra steps in for the final time She confesses that she visited our biology teacher after the party and that
56:27
they went to the boat house where according to her nothing bad happened He was just there for me The biology
56:33
teacher is immediately suspended But the case against him has nothing to do with mine as Cassandra's alibi clears him
56:40
Meanwhile the suspicions surrounding Zoe and Tom are too weak to pursue My case
56:46
remains unsolved and eventually people begin to accept the idea that it was just a tragic accident that I must have
56:52
hit my head when I jumped into the water They agree that I seemed unhappy not just that night but in general and that
57:00
my relationship with my parents who expected me to excel in everything was strained Perhaps the pressure had
57:07
finally got to her It's all unsatisfying of course Unsatisfying for the local
57:12
magazine whose updates eventually dry up Unsatisfying for the police left with yet another unsolved case on their desk
57:19
Unsatisfying for my parents who decades later will say in an interview that not
57:24
a day goes by that they don't think of their little girl Maybe one day a classmate will write a college essay
57:30
about my case reflecting on how it taught them that life can end in an instant Maybe my story will end up on a
57:36
true crime podcast Or perhaps Netflix will stretch it into a tightly structured 8 episode minisseries where
57:43
my body is discovered just 3 minutes in Enough time for viewers to decide if they'll keep watching Or maybe none of
57:50
this happens and I'll fade away like countless other women who are silenced every day simply for being born the
57:56
wrong sex It doesn't matter who profits from my story It doesn't even matter if they eventually find the two men I cross
58:02
paths with on my way back to the campsite in the wrong place at the wrong time None of this matters because in the
58:08
end I'm just another dead girl underwater But here suspended in the murky depths time takes on a different
58:15
quality The frantic energy of the search the whispered accusations the gnawing
58:21
grief it all fades into a dull hum The pressure that once squeezed the air from
58:26
my lungs is replaced by the gentle embrace of the water My hair drifts around my face like seaweed Each strand
58:33
a silent witness to the secrets the lake now holds The initial shock has long passed replaced by a strange sort of
58:40
knowing I see the frantic ripples on the surface the distorted shapes of the search boats passing overhead I imagine
58:48
the strained faces of the volunteers their eyes red rimmed with exhaustion and a dawning sense of futility I hear
58:54
the muffled thrum of the helicopter a mechanical insect buzzing in a world that no longer includes me Down here the
59:02
arguments and assumptions lose their sharp edges Cassandra's desperate need for attention Tom's awkward affection
59:08
Zoe's carefully constructed denials they all become just echoes fading into the watery silence Even the biology
59:15
teacher's unsettling behavior seems less sinister more a reflection of his own flawed humanity I drift past schools of
59:22
tiny fish their silver scales flashing in the faint light that penetrates the surface They are oblivious to the drama
59:29
that unfolded above to the void I've left behind Their simple existence their
59:34
constant movement is a stark contrast to my stillness Perhaps this is the truth of it all Life goes on Even after a life
59:42
is extinguished the world doesn't stop turning The sun still rises and sets The
59:47
lake continues to breathe My absence will leave a scar a void in the lives of those who knew me But the rhythm of
59:54
their days will eventually reassert itself And me I am becoming part of this
59:59
place The silt settles on my skin The water seeps into my clothes The
1:00:05
boundaries between my body and the lake are blurring The cold seeps into my bones A deep persistent chill that has
1:00:12
nothing to do with the night air Maybe the fisherman will remember the feel of the net snagging on something heavier
1:00:18
than a fish Maybe he'll recoil at the sight of my pale face my vacant eyes staring up at a world I no longer
1:00:24
inhabit Maybe he'll shout and the sound will carry across the water a final jarring intrusion into the stillness But
1:00:31
for now there is only the quiet The soft lapping of water against the unseen shore The gentle sway of the underwater
1:00:38
plants The profound and absolute silence of being utterly alone 33 hours 6
1:00:43
minutes and 42 seconds and counting The story above is ending But down here a
1:00:50
different kind of story is just beginning A story written in water and silence A story that will never be fully
1:00:57
told What has four faces eight arms and can't tell time the clock tower at Union
1:01:03
Station Four clocks on the tower and none of them run I mean what are the odds i peer up at the time and shade my
1:01:10
eyes It's 6:47 p.m Always is always will be And all anyone knows is that on a
1:01:17
Monday the world was a loud frantic place And Tuesday it wasn't Tuesday
1:01:23
really the world should have ended on a Saturday Saturdays are fun Used to be
1:01:28
anyway But no we get eternal friaking Tuesday afternoon where nothing changes
1:01:33
ever Good news though we're not alone at the station A couple dozen unlucky stragglers were in Union Station with
1:01:39
Dad and me when the big sleep I call it the BS stopped time 2 and 1/2 years ago
1:01:45
There's a couple of amateur scientists trapped with us here I call the egghheads Dad says to keep that name to
1:01:50
myself Dad's the only thing that keeps me from running headlong into the subway tunnels where you shouldn't go There's
1:01:55
monsters lurking down there Or maybe something worse You think we'll get another volunteer tired of looking at
1:02:02
the clock tower I bug Dad instead His eyes hide behind the smoky brown Ray-B bands he's owned since he was 18 He
1:02:08
considers my question like it's a teachable moment In another world he's a sixth grade teacher Here he's just dad
1:02:16
He rests his hand on the lifeless monster looming over us The hulking Metroink train is a rusting metal
1:02:21
dinosaur guarding track 6A It can't move which is just fine There's nowhere to go
1:02:27
Dad frowns as he peers into a vacant train car I expect so kiddo He grunts
1:02:33
His white Dallas Cowboys jersey is too big for his small frame Makes him look like a refugee in some dingy dive bar
1:02:40
But I guess when your shopping mall is the lost and found at the end of the world beggars can't be choosers Dad
1:02:46
waves a hand at the train tracks and a light wind balloons his sleeve open I can see how scrawny and wrinkled his arm
1:02:52
is as he affectionately pats the side of the train 36 mi to Clarita Plenty of
1:02:57
fuel in her and she's nothing more than a big paper weight Dad says used to get almost 3 m per gallon though your actual
1:03:04
mileage may vary He grins The world might stop but adult humor doesn't get
1:03:09
funnier It just gets cornier He pulls his hand away and absently wipes his palm on his worn jeans How come we never
1:03:16
have volunteers run the OC tracks dad turns away and looks at the never setting sun hanging in the clear sky I
1:03:23
want a volunteer to run the track to Santa Clarita Station I used to know someone there If you had one It comes
1:03:30
out harsh More softly I add a volunteer Dad laughs A humorless sound Getting
1:03:36
harder to find those kiddo Who can blame them maybe it's our turn I blurt out Dad flinches Yet we don't get struck by
1:03:42
lightning You and me Dad We could run the tracks together down to the beach Have a daddy daughter day I'll find a
1:03:49
volunteer Santa Clarita will pan out Dad says ignoring me We'll get answers there
1:03:55
Got a good feeling about this one Just because Riverside and Santa Barbara got gobbled up by the anomaly doesn't mean
1:04:01
Santa Clarita's gone The anomaly I hate it when he calls it that The eggheheads
1:04:07
are rubbing off on dad Not a good look on him Dad taught science Does it make
1:04:13
him a physicist here in BS World he has his little experiments Sort of like
1:04:18
those space probes NASA sent off into the solar system Only instead of satellites combing the universe for
1:04:24
cosmic stuff Dad's probes are refugee volunteers he sends to run the tracks searching for signs of life on Earth
1:04:30
beyond Union Station People probes who volunteer when they get sick enough of Forever Tuesday in a train station after
1:04:36
the aliens obliterated the rest of the world That's my theory My competition says it was a nuclear error Jeez I hate
1:04:44
the eggheheads Maybe we should have a reverse lottery I suggest if dad's going to ignore me why not change tactics
1:04:51
loser runs the tracks to San Clemente That's nice kiddo He's pretending to not listen There's answers out there Dad
1:04:59
stares at the sun that never moves never rises or sets in the blue la sky in
1:05:06
Santa Clarita Heavy sigh Dad looks like he could use a beer right about now If
1:05:12
there any were left in the refrigerated cold cases in the food courtyard long since looted I'd happily skip down the
1:05:17
tunnel and grab one for him But there's none left to drink Long ago sucked down by us Union Station captives of the BS
1:05:25
Of course there's always the greenish spew that sputters out of the water fountains I don't understand dad's
1:05:31
determination So far there's been seven volunteers who ventured out beyond the station after the BS Two marched out the
1:05:37
front entrance beneath the four frozen clocks in front of Union Station our second day here and disappeared down
1:05:42
Alamita Street Five ran the tracks one towards Glendale the other towards
1:05:47
Ventura the rest to the east Not a single volunteer returned No one came
1:05:53
back describing what the Big Sleep did with the rest of the world My opinion the BS wants us to find nothing It's
1:06:00
highly efficient at erasing things Union Station is the only world left and that's all What about the eggheheads i
1:06:06
ask They just sit around having science debates It's true Like what's the true
1:06:12
age of the Big Bang or where does all the antimatter in the universe go and if
1:06:18
a neutron farts in a black hole and no astronauts are around to hear it does it make a noise that last one's mine
1:06:25
actually Dad doesn't think it's funny But I think it's a hoot We can't force them to volunteer Dad says Contradicts
1:06:32
the definition I stare at the back of his neck It's tough leather broiled a
1:06:38
deep shade of burnt umber It somehow seems sad and makes him look vulnerable
1:06:43
I'm going down I say a little too loudly Downstairs Dad starts looks over at me
1:06:49
eyebrows raised over his sunglasses I shrug and add Girl stuff Um unless you
1:06:55
need me here Dad shakes his head No it's all right kiddo You go on He chuckles I
1:07:02
want to watch the sun not going down I consider telling him telling him what I'm going to do Instead I lie I'll be
1:07:10
back in 15 minutes Take your time he says And kiddo He pauses without turning
1:07:16
around I know you're sick of this this sorry excuse for a future My eyes well
1:07:21
up and I'm grateful he has his back to me But I'm going to get you out of this place I promise I swallow a sob and
1:07:28
shuffle down the ramp to the underground passenger transit hallway where I stop and look back Dad's staring after me and
1:07:34
I feel a twinge of guilt in my guts I flash a smile and wave He nods turns
1:07:40
away and I start walking I don't expect to run into anyone When I practically
1:07:45
crash into the egghhead I nearly yelp Sorry A thin nasal voice squeaks out
1:07:51
There's a flash of spiky ginger-coled hair over a rail thin body The sour odor
1:07:57
of sweat in my nose A pair of piercing blue eyes are too close to my face and I back up a step "No problem," I mumble I
1:08:05
glare at him and his face crumbles The egghehead turns and practically runs down the tunnel I watch to make sure he
1:08:11
doesn't stick around I'm glad I do when he stops Do you miss the people his
1:08:16
voice bounces off the concrete walls of the tunnel What i don't have the patience for this so my voice comes out
1:08:22
pinched People I miss people My friends
1:08:28
family Don't you miss the people you know your friends from school your mom
1:08:35
We might end up living forever like this Be nice to have the people we love here don't you think i want to march over to
1:08:41
him reach out and grab him by his chicken neck and shout in his face "I do have someone I love here dumbass." But I
1:08:47
just roll my eyes and laugh Who the hell wants to live forever the egggh throws
1:08:52
me a funny look Then he shrugs turns and pads off down the hall When he's just a
1:08:58
dot at the end of the tunnel I breath a sigh of relief Don't you miss the people what a stupid question Before I make the
1:09:05
walk to the connecting ramp leading up to track 10B I stop and glance east towards the subway station near the old
1:09:11
busted up aquarium The fish were scooped out and eaten in the first days of the BS Now no one crunches over the broken
1:09:18
glass to visit the dirty mosscovered mosaics there or stare at the shattered remains of the aquarium Nobody braves
1:09:25
the red purple line across the way It's best to avoid the subway tunnels once connecting LA County like giant arteries
1:09:31
snaking across the region I shiver when the subway calls to me Maybe the ghosts are warning me off my plan Move A loud
1:09:39
voice in my head shouts at me and I bolt Gray concrete walls flash past as I run All thoughts of empty haunted subways
1:09:46
flicker and fade in my mad dash I skitter to a stop under a shiny white clock bulging from a wall near the
1:09:52
platform tunnel 6:47 p.m It laughs down at me Suck it I
1:09:59
hiss at the frozen face Embarrassed I glance around but no one's here The tunnel is just one more ghost town and
1:10:05
I'm the only ghost haunting it When I emerge on platform 10b dad's there waiting for me I can't say why but I'm
1:10:13
not surprised You weren't going to say goodbye kiddo He whispers his voice I
1:10:19
smile weakly and shrug You were right This time he's the one holding back tears It's our turn And by our I mean
1:10:26
your turn I can't go with you kiddo I know I'm whispering If I speak louder I
1:10:32
might break in too I want to collapse into a pile of broken memories and forgotten smiles But there's a hissing
1:10:38
sound in my ears And I wonder if it's my will draining out of me Thankfully Dad's voice reaches me I have something for
1:10:45
you I watch him pull some folded up papers from his back pocket One is a map of Los Angeles I see the words Orange
1:10:53
County on another He holds them out like he's Prometheus offering mankind a bundle of burning sticks Thanks Dad I
1:11:01
shake my head Not sure why but I don't need them I expect him to argue with me
1:11:06
but he doesn't Neither of us seems to want to make a big deal out of saying goodbye Just a quick awkward hug and I
1:11:13
pull away from the embrace But dad drags me back Clings desperately to me shaking
1:11:19
like he's the child and I'm the parent his breath hot on my neck when he whispers in my ear Tell your mother I
1:11:24
love her kiddo I can only nod and step back This time he lets me go I look over
1:11:30
my shoulder only once Dad's already fading A dark smudge on a murky platform
1:11:36
A lonely outline beneath a sun forever stuck on 647 PST Frozen skies Abandoned
1:11:42
cars on the freeways Scarecrow trees dying from lack of rainwater Uninhabited
1:11:48
houses with empty windows Vacant parks and abandoned schoolyards Strange
1:11:53
monuments from a dead ancient world This is the scenery as I run the tracks south
1:11:58
Days pass maybe years or decades I'm not hungry not thirsty or tired I don't take
1:12:06
breaks to pee behind dead bushes or under leafless trees I don't stop to wonder why there's no bodily functions
1:12:11
to attend to I just walk the track south I'm a homing pigeon on autopilot I know
1:12:17
exactly where I'm going even if the journey's on rinse and repeat until it isn't I can only describe the change as
1:12:23
the world suddenly starting to melt in slow motion Solids turn to gel as everything dissolves into wet golden
1:12:30
buttery blobs under a disintegrating sky Everything but the train tracks The big
1:12:35
sleep is wounded It's softening as everything is turning into butter I should be afraid I want to feel afraid
1:12:43
But instead reality dissolving is just one more irony It gives me a sense of
1:12:48
satisfaction It's a stab in the heart of the big sleep and I'm dad's knife I may
1:12:53
melt away but I'm taking monster with me Something down the tracks flashes I
1:12:58
squint and make out a green shape rising from the buttery gold fuzziness surrounding the rails I don't want to
1:13:04
see it I want to fade away Let the BS make a permanent memory of me But then
1:13:09
the shape on the tracks solidifies It's a car Twin headlight beams at the front end punch through the butter Red lights
1:13:16
are waxy Smoldering cherries at the rear Dad's old 1,972 Ford Galaxy 500 station wagon And
1:13:24
it's here somewhere Nowhere For a split second I'm 13 again I'm in the back seat
1:13:30
drawing Todoro in my sketch pad Mom's back at home and dad and I are on our annual daddy-daughter trip to San
1:13:36
Clemente The clock on the dashboard leers at me 6:47 I relive the horror as fierce white
1:13:44
hot eyes smash through the side windows of dad's old clunker An elephantine horn trumpets at Dad Get off the tracks The
1:13:51
shrill ding-dinging of the crossing sign The last sound I remember Then total darkness follows A slow rhythmic hisses
1:13:59
underneath it I feel pressure Bone wrenching pressure pushes down on me from every direction I scream silently
1:14:06
and the hissing abruptly stops Curious I stop screaming Somehow the hissing's
1:14:12
absence leaves a hole in me Why is that happening a voice A woman is speaking
1:14:18
Soft gentle familiar full of grace filled up with tears I I don't know A
1:14:25
second woman Professional perplexed I'll call the doctor she says The voices grow
1:14:30
louder stronger right next to me This isn't right The ventilator I turned it
1:14:36
What are you saying the familiar voice is frantic She's shouting without warning Bells explode all around me I
1:14:44
moan as the pain rushes back Do something The woman is beside herself
1:14:49
wailing Help her Mom There's a rustle of fabric then a sharp jab in my arm The
1:14:56
pressure lifts and I'm spirited away from the pain When I wake the second time the hospital room is dark Someone's
1:15:03
closed the shades the lights are down Mom is slumped sideways in a chair next to my bed knees drawn up under her arms
1:15:10
eyes closed lips slightly parted Her breathing is deep exhausted She looks
1:15:16
like she hasn't combed her hair in weeks She's absolutely beautiful I raise my head feel a wave of pain suggesting I
1:15:23
reconsider I settle back and watch mom breath in the dark With time to think I
1:15:30
wonder what day it is I don't wonder where dad is I already know There's a clock on the wall not far from the TV
1:15:37
Some animal show is on though the sound is off The clock smiles down from its perch 1 26 afternoon morning Either is
1:15:46
fine as long as it isn't 6:47 Through blurred eyes I find a
1:15:52
whiteboard near the window Date printed in precise blue marker letters September
1:15:57
4th 2018 Exactly 2 and 1/2 years since my
1:16:02
very last daddy daughter trip to San Clemente Casey Mom's voice is tired and
1:16:08
slurred but awake She's at my side leaning towards me her chin on her hands
1:16:14
fingers curled under like a praying mantis eyes bright gray and wide "Hi Mom." I croak "Oh Casey." Mom reaches
1:16:21
out and gently rests her fingers on my arm She's sobbing repeating my name over
1:16:27
and as a tiger silently chases an antelope on the TV There's long months filled with smiles and tears and pain
1:16:34
pills loads of therapy It takes some time but I learn to walk again When I
1:16:40
force mom to take me to Rose Hills one late afternoon we share teary eyed memories of dad at his graveside We
1:16:47
don't talk about the fact that I shouldn't be alive DNRs or lights at the end of a tunnel We just lay in silence
1:16:53
on a blanket in the cool freshly moan grass amidst a maze of gray headstones A
1:16:58
wispy layer of smog hangs in the late afternoon sky It lends it a reddish glow
1:17:04
Cars whoosh by on the freeway below almost drowning out the chittering of birds Voices of mourners nearby carry on
1:17:11
the wind And I recall the silence of the big sleep Do you remember it mom asks
1:17:17
The accident I mean Very little I whisper I want to tell her about Union Station about everything that happened
1:17:24
or didn't happen there How hard dad worked to get me back home But I don't
1:17:30
say anything about any of it Instead I give her dad's message and mom pretends I don't sound crazy I glance down at the
1:17:37
brand new smartwatch mom gave me for my 16th birthday last week But it's dead I must have forgotten to charge it
1:17:45
Why would anyone want to look at the darkness mother i was vain and self-obsessed even at a young age The
1:17:51
mirror reveals my beauty the most important thing I don't understand One
1:17:57
day Atanaz she said you will Years later as a young man I gazed into the mirror
1:18:05
and was pleased to find the shadows exposed no wrinkles on my face I turned my head to admire my profile and froze A
1:18:12
flash of white appeared amongst the fine black hairs in my prided widow's peak A gray hair My youth fades before my eyes
1:18:21
How can this be then I remembered father was a barber He left me the one thing he
1:18:26
treasured most as he lay on his deathbed The barber shears I said I'll sever this
1:18:31
white omen with father's barber shears In no time I had this snowy invader
1:18:37
trimmed from the forest of black on my head With the work completed I was again unmoded the picture of a handsome young
1:18:43
man 2 days later mother's prophetic words came back to prove me a fool The
1:18:49
white hair had returned It mocked me looking twice the size in the mirror this time I shrank from the terrible
1:18:55
sight of it Death hounds may Is there no way to barter with it for more time it was then I spied several paper stacks
1:19:02
piled near my desk in one dusty corner of my flat Every pile represented a manuscript I toiled over in the
1:19:08
misguided belief I'd succeed at publishing my strange tales of imagination Each stack was a monument to
1:19:14
failure Everyone capped by a loathome pink rejection slip That infuriating
1:19:20
white hair added insult to a life of failure and anonymity and I fell into a
1:19:25
deep pool of self-pity Enough The sound of my voice startled me Despair clung to
1:19:31
the word like a cobweb under a damp cellar doorway What did I have to show for my sorry existence a single glimpse
1:19:39
at my exhausted bank account barren kitchen cupboards the vacant pages of my social calendar was sufficient evidence
1:19:46
of my inadequacies Failure was in no short supply The steadily growing collection
1:19:51
of pink slips was the final nail in my coffin Thoroughly dejected I tugged at
1:19:56
the white hair feeling an irresistible urge to travel to the seaside and make an end to my misery Pulling on my
1:20:03
threadbear overcoat I bit a last farewell to my flat and the few possessions I owned I made my way across
1:20:10
town under a bright sun that mocked me with its brilliance My shadow the only witness to my solitary death march Over
1:20:17
time an old deserted lighthouse appeared like a giant's finger pointing at the sky How is it I've never seen it here
1:20:24
before i thought no matter I'll climb the steps to the circular gallery at the
1:20:30
top Then I'll leap off the railing in Icarus without wings The spiral stairway
1:20:36
winding upwards was dark The lighthouse chamber's cold air leeched the warmth from my bones I paused allowing my eyes
1:20:44
to adjust to the gloom then placed my foot on the first iron stare The damp
1:20:49
air stirred I heard scrabbling sounds and my pulse quickened It's only a
1:20:54
stling startled by the invasion of its home I said aloud "Fear not little
1:21:00
friend Soon you will be spared of my presence." I began the ascent my shadow
1:21:07
long since swallowed by the murky gloom The only sound in the lighthouse was my
1:21:12
boots as they clanked upon the iron stairs At roughly the halfway mark of
1:21:17
the journey I sensed the brick wall surrounding me narrowing like the gullet of a snake When whispering sounds echoed
1:21:24
off the walls I stopped "Who goes there?" My voice echoed inside the
1:21:29
chamber and the strange sound abruptly ceased Thinking this a sign I should abandon my quest I nearly lost my nerve
1:21:38
But I swallowed my fear and resumed the climb that seemed unending After a time
1:21:44
a sliver of light pierced the darkness and a bent steel door sagging on rusted hinges appeared before me To my surprise
1:21:52
the ancient door opened with the slightest push With the sun's full force blinding me I stumbled into the light
1:21:59
and saw my shadow dance across the heavy iron deck of the gallery Sh a silky
1:22:05
rustling sound hissing through the doorway I just passed through startled me I would have thrown myself from the
1:22:11
top of the lighthouse in fright Had not a gentle unfamiliar voice called out
1:22:16
"Adones." Through blinded eyes I saw a man leaning on the railing of the circular gallery "Thank you for
1:22:23
answering my invitation." The man smiled and nodded at the door behind me as I stared dumbly at him Our friend in the
1:22:30
lighthouse is a patient creature to a point Let us attend to business Who are
1:22:36
you i felt betrayed by his unexpected presence at this my last hour What
1:22:42
invitation i have no business with you He smiled again and his face seemed
1:22:47
familiar with his thick closely shaved black beard and dark piercing eyes With
1:22:53
his tall barrel chest the dark curls on his head and a well-manicured black
1:22:58
beard complimenting his ruddy face I was certain I knew him We have never met atones Our only kinship is that we're
1:23:05
both fatally romantic souls horribly vain ones at that Both of us cursed with
1:23:11
creative spirits lacking only amuse's touch for us to reach great heights Your answer to my call shows me you despair
1:23:18
of ever finding her I discovered my muse long ago Now I'm at the end of my
1:23:24
journey His eyes dropped to stare at my feet A frown crossed his face I followed
1:23:30
his gaze to my shadow then looked to his feet and gasped "Startling is it not?"
1:23:35
said the man He gestured to the spot where his shadow should lie but did not
1:23:41
You came here today as I did long ago seeking release But this is the
1:23:46
goddess's domain and if you're willing you will fly rather than fall Forfeiting
1:23:52
one's shadow to her is a small price to pay for success Success are you mad
1:23:59
confused frightened by his missing shadow I misunderstood him I'm the furthest thing from success The
1:24:06
stranger's black beard dropped to his chest He pulled something from his coat pocket and extended it Before you pass
1:24:12
judgment on my sanity would you examine this i too was a failure in my chosen
1:24:18
field A might have been here Consider my work in this sketchbook If you find
1:24:24
madness there then I'll step aside as you leap from the lighthouse Something in his voice moved me With a quivering
1:24:30
hand I took the book and opened it My eyes grew wide with wonder as I turned
1:24:36
the pages one by one for I instantly recognized the forms sketched within
1:24:41
representing the world's most magnificently designed architectural structure saw signed by the greatest
1:24:47
architect of our time This is your work i looked at the man whom I now recognized as the worldrenowned
1:24:54
visionary who'd created these glorious works This is a trick I wish it was," he
1:25:01
said His mournful voice filled me with such misery that I stopped turning the pages and looked in his sad weary eyes
1:25:08
Well this is my latest incarnation anyway I've lived long enough to be a brilliant surgeon in the early
1:25:16
1,700s 90 years on I moved in famous circles as a celebrated painter in the
1:25:22
age of neocclassicism The architect's dark eyes missed it as he spoke Fast
1:25:27
forward a century and a quarter and I became a well-known journalist covering the Great War firsthand I moved with the
1:25:34
Times Atanaz adopted other names new professions and drew inspiration from
1:25:40
the muse who provided me with the creative gifts my vanity demanded The man who claimed he'd lived for centuries
1:25:47
paused The seab breeze ruffled his black hair and I sensed the long years in the
1:25:52
empty smile on his face Architecture he said is my final
1:25:58
greatest contribution to the world the one I wish to be remembered for I
1:26:03
glanced at the exquisite drawings wishing to disbelieve yet sensing the
1:26:08
truth of his words How is this possible how can a man surrender his own shadow
1:26:13
to a goddess i have no answer By making a bargain Adas he said The shadowless
1:26:19
man turned his back to me and stared at the swells in the distance His lonely form moved me to join him at the railing
1:26:26
But why i said as we watched seagulls sail over blue green waves What's in it
1:26:31
for a goddess for a moment he said nothing Then he chuckled Who knows the
1:26:37
goddess appeared to me only once Gods are fickle yet needful creatures who require sacrifices Or perhaps we provide
1:26:45
them with amusement Still a bargain is a bargain If only he fell silent leaving
1:26:51
the rest unspoken I don't understand I said You are famous rich beyond anyone's
1:26:57
wildest dreams and you are yes at he turned to face me a resigned expression
1:27:05
on his face I am immortal but that is at an end He reached up with both hands
1:27:12
parted the jet black whiskers on his chin and revealed a single white strand of hair buried deep within his beard It
1:27:19
was shockingly white whiter than any sunbleleached bone in the desert "My hand crept slowly to where my pale
1:27:26
defect lay." The architect shook his head "By answering my invitation "Your
1:27:31
white worm is gone," he said "The goddess holds it now She senses a
1:27:36
bargain for the taking like a hunting dog senses the rabbit in the hedge Beware Adonise Bargains come with
1:27:43
conditions and I have after nearly three centuries broken the terms of mine by
1:27:49
confiding my story to you The price is the full wrath of she who keeps the
1:27:54
hideous creature in this lighthouse So you've lured me here to be the instrument of your destruction Even then
1:28:01
self-absorption consumed me What is my payment for this wretched job his eyes
1:28:06
widened There is one thing I must do before the beast claims my soul as payment for my crime I'm obligated to
1:28:13
extend to you the same dark bargain offered to me those many years ago That
1:28:19
ataz is why you are here My pulse quicken This was the answer to all my
1:28:24
problems and my shadow How does it figure into the bargain suddenly his
1:28:30
expression changed The blood drained from his face One cannot live forever it
1:28:35
seems without a cup holder for the years A chill ran through me You mean the
1:28:41
shadow is the cup that holds the centuries The beast starving in this lighthouse for centuries thirsts to
1:28:49
drink from it I glanced nervously at my shadow Numbness enveloped my hands like
1:28:54
gloves filled with cold needles "What will it be Atanazi?" he said seeming
1:29:00
somehow smaller frailer A leap from this lighthouse or fame and fortune forever
1:29:08
Come surrender your shadow and take my place I didn't hesitate Me vanity as always was my master I accept I will
1:29:16
take your place With that the lighthouse trembled beneath our feet It swayed like
1:29:21
an upside down pendulum and I grabbed the railing to keep from falling Suddenly the rusted door blew open A
1:29:29
hellish green luminescence brighter than the sun blazed forth from within the murky
1:29:35
chamber A feted stench filled the air as a pair of massive milky white tentacles
1:29:40
reached through the doorway They slithered over the metal deck arms dotted with purple ringed sucker-like
1:29:46
mouths filled with silver needle-sharp teeth The mouths gasped like fish
1:29:52
suffocating on land As the hideous Leviathan pulled half its bloated body through the lighthouse chamber doorway I
1:29:59
blindly reached out for my companion sleeve If the monster's intent was to drag its terrible slippery form across
1:30:05
the gallery and devour him then shouldn't I save the architect from his fate but the goddess demanded payment
1:30:13
The sound of a thousand thirsty mouths filled the air with loud hurricane force
1:30:18
whales and I released him "Thank you friend!" the architect shouted through the wind He flashed me one last smile
1:30:26
"Your bargain is now sealed but you won't be alone I leave you Clip My wise
1:30:32
companion and guide Goodbye Atines." He pointed a finger at the metal deck His
1:30:38
shadow absent for centuries had returned But the bellowing beast and the shaking
1:30:43
all around us forced my eyes away horrified I watched as a massive pearly
1:30:49
white tentacle grabbed the architect by an ankle and knocked him onto his back He didn't struggle didn't resist as the
1:30:57
monster dragged him over the deck and drew him towards the doorway It was only when the awful purple suckers sank their
1:31:02
teeth through his clothes and into his flesh that he lost his nerve I watched in horror as the goddess's creature
1:31:09
pulled him towards it The architect's eyes wide mouth open in a silent scream
1:31:15
His once jet black hair faded to white while the beast greedily sucked down the many years returned to him The rusted
1:31:22
doorway swallowed him and he was gone It was over Soon the complaining sounds of
1:31:28
seagulls filled the silence Rising on unsteady feet I stumbled towards the
1:31:34
doorway There was no sign of the architect Then I remembered the deal I'd made in such an impulsive fashion and
1:31:41
quickly searched the deck My heart skipped a beat to find my shadow absent Gathering up my courage I descended the
1:31:48
iron stairwell traveling in dark silence with my bargain sealed When I reached
1:31:53
the last step at the bottom of the lighthouse I found let me guess said a
1:31:59
familiar voice a golden cage containing a wise old owl Startled I jerked the pen
1:32:05
from my manuscript I turned to face Clip who furrowed his feathery brow over his
1:32:11
dark brooding eyes "Ah I see you've returned with supper," I grunted "Absent
1:32:17
all afternoon my watchful companion now sat perched at the open window A small
1:32:23
gray mouse dangled limply from his sharp white beak Clip ruffled his feathers
1:32:28
dropped his dinner and bobbed his head He glared at me with dark accusing eyes
1:32:34
How can I eat clip said when you put in writing what is your death sentence at I
1:32:41
laughed How melodramatic Storytelling is my profession This one is for my eyes
1:32:47
alone A harmless literary exercise Friend clip The owl squawkked angrily
1:32:54
You tweak the goddess's nose Attonise He hid his face under a wing and sobbed You
1:33:00
write of your bargain for random eyes to chance upon to tempt fate so invites
1:33:06
your shadows return Clip's tearfilled voice shamed me I bowed my head and
1:33:11
stared at the floor where I cast no shadow I beg you for your own sake
1:33:17
destroy this ill-advised memoir Return to the fictions your fans clamor for The
1:33:23
tales that have catapulted you to success and fame You frighten me Atana I
1:33:30
frighten myself I surprise myself by the admission and I grow bored Clip The owl
1:33:36
hooted loudly No wonder Unlike the architect he said who mastered many
1:33:42
trades you never strayed from your love of the pen You've written under countless pseudonyms as the river of
1:33:47
time flowed by Lived a halfozen decades without another wrinkle on your face or
1:33:53
gray hairs appearing on your vain foolish head found inspired ways to hide your secret It was true The goddess
1:34:00
blessed me with a keen imagination and I'd invented ruses to hide my shadowless state A feigned unique sensitivity to
1:34:08
light kept personal appearances at book signings to a minimum My publishers conducted celebrity events under tightly
1:34:14
controlled conditions in lowly lit environments No one ever uncovered the truth about the man with no shadow
1:34:22
Atanaz Clip said "I sense your restlessness Why not explore fresh
1:34:28
territory venture into the other arts sculpture paint or if you must write
1:34:34
journalism." It entertained the old architect for a time Why test the goddess all you require is a new
1:34:41
challenge You are more than up to it Clip appealed to my vanity and I wavered
1:34:47
The goddess chose well when she created my vigilant companion The last of my
1:34:52
resistance gave way and I surrendered There's a reason the gods named the owl
1:34:58
the wisest of all creatures As always you are right Clip Moving to the window seat manuscript in hand I settled in
1:35:05
next to the owl who observed me with inquisitive dark eyes I grow weary of
1:35:10
arguing this evening I said stifling a yawn Here take this manuscriptured it to
1:35:16
pieces with your beak Let me sleep upon the rest I'm certain the goddess will
1:35:22
guide me towards a fresh path Clip ruffled his feathers and cocked his head You will not regret completing the story
1:35:29
Will a new direction be enough for you Adise i paused and considered the way ahead of me Was I better off for taking
1:35:35
the architect's place losing my shadow and gaining everlasting life and success by striking a dark bargain with a
1:35:40
goddess the years clouded the answer Mirrors reveal the truth bargains with
1:35:46
goddesses are not as forthcoming when showing one where the light ends and the shadows begin But the hour was late and
1:35:53
I grew weary Yes I said it is enough for me Bidding clip good night I left the
1:36:00
unfinished draft at his feet and exhausted retired to my bedroom and
1:36:05
stared into the mirror For a second I thought I caught a glimpse of a stunningly beautiful woman staring back
1:36:10
at me an amused smile on her face I blink twice
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