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Blake and Nathaniel look at a first person documentary about the changes in a person's life. After the loss of her mother, documentarian Judith Helfand has to navigate a series of changes in her life. Along with coping with the loss of her mother, she adopts a child.
Blake and Nathaniel debate why 'Love & Stuff' is so frustrating, try to figure out the audience for it, and discuss if it is necessary for a documentary to be entertaining.
Adventures in Movies! is hosted by Nathaniel Muir, Blake, and Danny. You can find Nathaniel on Instagram at nathaninpoortaste. Danny can be found on Twitter @default_player and on Instagram at default_player. Blake can be found on Twitter @foureyedhorror and on Instagram at foureyedhorror. You can reach us personally or on Twitter @AiPTMovies.
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0:00
Hello and welcome to another episode of Adventures and Movies looks at dot, dot, dot, dot
0:17
This week I'm joined by one of the hosts of Adventures in Movies
0:23
Just me, just Blake. Sorry, everybody. A little disappointing, but that's okay
0:29
at least the handsome one is here this thing. Yeah, you're here
0:34
Oh, this is true. When I said the handsome one, this week we're going to look at love and stuff
0:43
Love and stuff is a first person documentary. It's directed by Judith Helfen
0:48
She's the documentarian. It focuses on her life as she encounters some pretty major changes
0:54
Her mother passes away, and she's about to become a single mother at the age of 50
0:59
So let's dive right on into this. Is this the most frustrating movie you've seen this year
1:06
Definitely. Easily. And we just watched a movie that I was supremely frustrated by the entire time
1:14
But no, this was, yeah. I guess not knowing anything going into these things is a double-edged sword
1:23
Half the time I'm really, so far I've been really pleased. the other half I've been kind of like pulling my hair out
1:30
And this was definitely one of those like, I didn't know where it was going at first
1:34
It changed directions. And then I still didn't know where it was going. It was frustrating is the word
1:41
I think what frustrated me the most about it. And quite a few things did was it's very sad initially
1:47
It's very sad. Like she loses her mother. It's not sudden. It was over the course of a few months
1:53
Like she did know it was coming. That doesn't lessen it. I mean, she still did lose her mom
1:59
But the frustrating part about it, and then she's going to adopt a child
2:03
and we'll go into the details of all that. But she's not a very good character
2:07
She's not very in. And to me, it's, yeah, and it's like
2:11
it's bad things are happening. She's trying to do cool things with her life
2:15
but she can't get behind her. And it's really conflicting. Yeah. And you want to
2:22
You 100%. There's a part of you, right, when this thing gets going, you're like, wow, just like you said, she went through a lot
2:29
And so at first I was like, well, I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt as to this character, as you put it
2:36
like is a great way to put it, that is getting revealed to me. I was trying to be like, you know, a little bit glass half full about the whole thing
2:43
But ultimately, yeah, became kind of, I was kind of lost, I guess
2:51
So I guess at the end, what did you think about? I mean, just like blanket terms, like her, heat her, indifferent
2:58
I don't want to say I didn't like her because I don't know her
3:03
But yeah, this is. That's strong. You know what? Yeah. Right. But I wouldn't, I don't want to
3:10
I don't, I didn't care to look up anything else about her. I didn't want to. Nothing about it interested, interested me enough to, I guess, further my inquiry about her, I guess
3:21
That's a good way to put it. The, uh, and yeah, dislike her. her is a little strong
3:26
Probably a perfectly fine woman. I'm sure she's a great woman, but
3:30
the thing about her is that she's going through all these struggles, and so
3:36
this is not really a sequel, but it's a follow event. I'm thinking the
3:40
documentary showed parts of her previous documentary where she's going through her
3:44
She overcomes, it's cancer, right? Or she has a cyst? A cyst I believe yeah She has a cyst that she overcome so she can have any children over two decades later she decides to adopt a child And the thing about the care and I don know maybe it my age
4:01
maybe it's what's going on in the world today. Maybe it's a combination of these things
4:05
but I just found her to be really whiny and entitled. And with every, all the struggles that you're seeing
4:13
you have this woman who decides that, I mean, she straight up tells the doctor that
4:17
I think I gained about 80 pounds. doesn't want to exercise, goes to a psychiatrist to talk her and ends up getting the gastric sleeve
4:28
because she's not going to diet. And then she does eventually have a diet
4:34
She does adopt a baby. But then she even has a nurse helper along the way
4:39
I mean, I guess that's maybe in a vacuum, none of these things would bother me
4:45
Right. But you're. But yeah. And yeah, you're forced to look at it
4:48
you're forced to look at this in a microcosm. And so, yeah, I mean, it's, it's everything you just said
4:55
And we've talked about it earlier off, off show is kind of like
5:01
these are all difficulties everybody deals with. Like, yes, you lose a parent, tough
5:07
Gaining weight, shit, we've all done that. We've all fluctuated with weight
5:11
Everybody can relate to that. Having a kid, not being able to have a kid, lots of people can relate to that
5:17
These are relatable things. But the way it's translated to you makes you put off by it, which is kind of, it's a bizarre thing because you'd think, oh, well, yeah, you'd be on board
5:29
You'd be right behind her. You'd be rooting for her. I never felt, I never felt like I was rooting for her as ed up as that may sound
5:37
I agree with that. And that's what's so frustrating about it, because everything is set up to be a very inspiring story
5:45
but I'd say especially in the last 30 minutes of it because it's not very long but in the last 30 minutes
5:51
it's when it's kind of like bombarding you with this it's almost a self-motivate it's like a motivational speaker
5:58
I don't know some people are fans of them I'm not a big man it's almost like it's like reading a book like
6:04
how I learned to accept my mother's death lose 50 pounds and raise a child
6:08
that's exactly what it is exactly what it is and that's not an uninteresting story, but in this case it is
6:20
It's solely because of the character, and I don't know, maybe if this was released five years ago
6:24
and I keep calling her a character, and this is a documentary. It is a street of documentary
6:29
Yeah, but the word character is, I think, good. You're using it inappropriately because, and I guess, spoilers for this documentary
6:38
there's a whole, like, aspect of this where the child she adopts
6:44
she virtually thinks is her mother, like, reincarnated in a way. Yes
6:49
Yeah. And so if you weren't already on board with what you're seeing, when you hear that aspect of it
6:56
it kind of throws the whole thing in a different spectrum. It did for me
7:00
I started looking at her in a different way once that was like, oh, that's why
7:05
Because it was almost disingenuous as to why she wanted the child in the first place, I thought
7:10
I don't know. No, I agree with you because, like, by definition
7:14
It's autobiographical, so it's going to be very self-indulgent. And that's fine
7:19
There's nothing wrong with that. But I don't know, just the confluence of all those things that are going on
7:26
And it seemed like things that, like you said, there are things that we all have to deal with in one fashion or another
7:31
And in this particular story, in this particular time, and with my particular upbringing, maybe, like, I just, it didn't catch fire with me
7:41
I just did not enjoy it. And when you keep bringing up like that? this particular time I think that I think that is 100 playing into this for us You know there are bigger fish to fry That might be it Like this lady personal life drama which you know whatever
7:55
This person, yeah, this lady who's like, I can't walk up these steps, so I need to go see a psychiatrist
8:03
It's a little much. So it wasn't all that. So what did you think of the relationship between Judith, the director, and her mother
8:13
I thought that was super adorable. That was the part that I loved, actually
8:18
And well done. I think you actually get a good feel for how the relationship was
8:24
Very supportive, loving, you know, lots of love within that family. And it's obvious it translates across the screen
8:32
Yeah, I would definitely, yeah, I would say that. I really like the moments with her mother
8:36
Like it opens up with, like, home movies of them. I wish it was all that. It was cool
8:41
It was cool. They're joking around each other. They have some very frank comments. conversations, one of them totally disgusted me because it involved K. Y. J. But it really showed how
8:53
great their relationship was. And you kind of get a sense of why her mother, it kind of looms over her life
9:01
But I don't know, the rest of it doesn't really hook in. The story doesn't really hook
9:05
hook you. Yeah, it's like two totally separate things to me. It was like, here's this, yes, I miss my mom
9:13
And boy, she was awesome. And I loved her. so much. And then it was like this, something I totally get behind
9:18
turned into this like twisted. I'm going to adopt this kid because it's my mom
9:23
So, you know, that kind of my next question. Same scenario. Would this have been better
9:30
served as fiction? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's more believable if it's, I had a hard
9:38
time believing what I was seeing like actually being real. But yeah, no. I don't
9:42
know. I find that whole that whole aspect of it. Not to say
9:46
she wasn't a loving mother to her daughter. Obviously, Judith. Obviously, Carad, I mean, just loved her daughter to death, obviously
9:57
Not taking anything away from that. It was just the impetus that started the idea
10:02
of why she wanted a child in the first place. Was, yes, I can't have it. And now I think it's my mom
10:09
So it's like, it was like this twofold thing that just didn't click with me as a thing that I wanted
10:14
to watch, I guess. Yeah, I'd agree with you. Like, you know, we're kind of making fun of the documentary we're talking about
10:21
This isn't to speak bad about her parenting skills, about how she has as a daughter, but she treats her mother wonderfully
10:27
I wish we saw more of her brothers because there's cool interactions between them
10:32
Like, she genuinely seems like I kind of like facetiously said it earlier, but I do believe
10:38
she is a good person. I do, too. I'm sure she is. but this this documentary is a really good example of um you know first person documentaries if you
10:47
don't have an interesting story to tell you might not want to do it i mean if she was also like
10:54
the lead guitarist of a really hip like punk band in new york or something like that maybe it needed
11:00
that needed that angle maybe she had to be a starving artist or something it just like it didn't
11:05
work so um documentaries those are going strong i mean we see it with true
11:10
crime, there's lots of rights and fall documents, lots of making up, all kinds of stuff
11:15
They're huge, but the first person documentary you don't see as much of it
11:19
Now with social media, maybe you don't really need to. Do you think the first person documentary is kind of become obsolete
11:27
Boy, I didn't think about that. I've seen a lot of Instagram accounts that are more interesting than this movie
11:33
I was just about to say that yeah no yeah the influencer world that virtually what these people do is literally document first person their lives Well what they want you to perceive to see But yeah I mean that highly entertaining
11:50
I wouldn't describe this movie as entertainment, really. I mean, it's a slice of life, I guess, in a lot of ways
11:59
But it's not entertaining, really. That's tough, I guess. But, yeah, I had a hard time with it
12:06
I did. if you yeah and you know i didn't even think of that you're and i agree with you like entertainment
12:12
isn't the goal here what do you think the purpose of this was boy that's a really really good
12:18
question i think it was a catharsis you know what that's the exact word that's literally
12:26
catharsis and inspiration maybe it's yeah uh therapy you know i think this may have been brought
12:34
up in a therapy session like hey if you ever thought about putting this all on film and putting it all together and now it's all in one place and then you and your daughter
12:40
can go back and look at like that's kind of how it feels is like this she had the money to do it
12:45
she did it hey she did a good job with it she she put the thing together yeah it was i
12:51
but i felt like it was for her you know yeah like a passion project a total passion project yeah so
12:58
um what are your final thoughts on the movie and then the big question opening day rental
13:05
stream or ignore? Oh, final impressions. I think there's some stuff to like about it
13:15
I think anytime you get to see especially parents, you know, parent-child interaction
13:22
and this is like two-fold, two different levels, that's cool. So I'm not going to say pass
13:27
Stream it. If you in any way relate to where this person
13:33
where she came from, You might get a lot out of it, probably more than me
13:37
Again, I don't think this was for me. My demographic is not necessarily who this movie was for
13:44
So, yeah, I mean, stream it. If you read the synopsis and you found it intriguing, yeah, why not
13:50
You might get more out of it than I did. I think you kind of hit a lot of key points there that this has a certain audience for better or for worse
13:59
Like there's some things that are across the board and either people like them are not. this one is pretty much directed towards a certain audience
14:06
But also, like you said, it's not something that you can straight out say, no, no, don't watch it
14:12
There is, I mean, there's great relationship. The family relationship is really, really good
14:17
Made me miss my grandmother, like straight up. I just, I lost my grandmother last year
14:22
And it made me 100% feel like, man, I sure do. I sure miss my grandmother, you know
14:26
So, yeah. She does a good job of building the family in there
14:30
It's really good. It's when it becomes a little more. self-centered that it loses you
14:35
And you're right. It's just, I mean, film is a medium that's supposed to entertain
14:40
And unfortunately, this just isn't that entertaining. No, it's not. Unfortunately. So every week you can find this here on Adventures in Movies, looks at
14:51
Right here. Here we are talking documentaries. Comedies. Quote-unquote comedies. Black and white color
15:01
We'll watch it all. If you have any suggestions for us, let us know in the comments and we'll look at it
15:07
I mean, we'll look at anything. We do not care. You can also listen to our podcast
15:12
There's Adventures in Movies, the Quick and Dirty version. Also on YouTube
15:17
My favorite kind, actually. I enjoy it. Quick, dirty and raw. There's usually a Danny here
15:22
There is usually. Danny balances things out to kind of, he keeps us in check
15:27
And unfortunately, he wasn't able to make it today. But he'll be back. Don't nobody worry
15:31
Thank you very much, as Danny would say, like and subscribe. We'll talk to you next week
15:37
Adios, everybody
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